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Old 03-16-2014, 08:04 PM   #10
Pinot Grij
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Adonis. I like the shorter style. Your verse could've used a little more color around the edges, more precise writing... I understand that the piece was meant to be stripped back, but at the same time that worked for and against you. Overall, I thought it was a good storytelling venture, you still labored a bit in the topical realm that kept it from really popping.

Vulgar, I was not feeling this at all. Overall, the take on the topic was kinda bland, there were some really were word choices (disorderly dopes/conceive holes) and I hate stoner culture. It just wasn't for me.

Vote - Adonis
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