The ending was way too sudden. You were gaining momentum and beginning to find a voice, though it still wasn't exactly clear what that voice would entail. Then the verse just ended. The beginning was a little rough, like you were settling in and again a bit unsure of what you were writing compared to your more conceptual stuff. This was OK.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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