I liked this a lot, mostly because of the content. Some of the wordplay attempts seemed forced. And there was a bit of a lack of cohesion from sentence to sentence (regardless of line breaks). But there was a real earnestness displayed in writing this, and there were a few nice images.
Quote:
You looked in to my eyes and told me to believe in you, and I do now.
And as the damaged goods get moved out, I await this youth you've renewed.
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