Mate, stop fucking cheating!
For those who don't know, Baron Mynd has bitten a short story and posted it as a topical in the "Tales from the Scrypt" Tournament.
Here is what Baron posted.
http://www.projectrhyme.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=28662
"Murder By Scrabble!"
It's a blistering hot day and I hate my wife.
I pretend to listen despite her inane babble ..
But I'm 42 years old -
And all I can think of to do with my life is to play Scrabble!
I should be out addressing this fact,
Instead of attached to her incredulous act ..
But I've not spoken to anyone except my wife since Thursday morning.
My letters are crap.
I play, appropriately, BEGIN.
With a copious grin that I've staged whenever we've played together ..
Then a ceaseless clack, clack, clack...
Preceded my wife's smug expression as she rearranged her letters.
I hate her.
Her cruel repugnance had me duly bludgeoned as she grew in gumption..
If she wasn't around, I'd be doing something interesting right now...
...I don't know what, but I'd be doing something.
She plays JINXED, with a J on a double-letter score,
And begets the roar that's pervading our plush villa ..
That's 30 points, and now she's beating me already...
...Maybe I should kill her.
If only I had a U, then I could play MURDER.
That would be permission to take her to task ..
Instead I chew on my H, before playing WARMER,
Mainly so I can keep chewing on the H that I have...
I draw letters straight from the bag,
As my cavernous nostrils fume, and I'm sat in a hostile mood ..
Where I find myself thinking -
These lucky letters will relay back at me what to do...
And so I cynically scoff,
While keeping her timid repostes under my sinister watch ..
If these letters spell out KILL, or STAB, or her name,
I'll do it right now - I'll finish her off.
My rack spells MIUZPA. Damn.
Plus the H in my mouth as my yellowing teeth compress its sides ..
I can feel the heat of the sun pushing at me through the window,
And hear the hum of the buzzing insects outside.
Soon sweat slides down my forehead,
Until pools of perspiration have spangled my eye-brows ..
And she plays SWEATIER, using all her letters,
If it wasn't too hot to move, then I'd strangle her right now...
It needs to rain to clear the air.
I can't even seem to think, I need a drink ..
But as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I find a word -
HUMID on a double-word score using the D of JINXED.
The H makes a small splash of saliva,
As it's placed with force against the board ..
I hope that she has lousy letters.
She tells me she has lousy letters, and for some reason I hate her more...
She plays FAN, gets up to fill the kettle,
And turns the air conditioning straight to "High" ..
It's the hottest day for ten years and my wife is boiling the kettle,
This is why I hate my wife.
I play ZAPS with the Z doubled,
The sweet disguise of her sweeping eyes is starting to bug me ..
When she gets a static-shock off the air conditioning unit...
And I find this remarkably funny.
She sits back down with a sigh at her letters -
Tilting them slightly, looking for any points to pilfer there might be ..
While consoled by her continuous clack, clack, clacking...
I feel a terrible rage build up inside me.
The heats intense and I'm steeped in sweat,
I start to feel my heart of steel race ..
The rage gets to my fingertips, when the kettle starts whistling -
And as its whistle builds it makes me feel faint.
She plays READY on a double-word for 18 points,
Then goes to pour herself a cup of tea ..
No I do not want one.
I think to myself in silence as I watch her get up to leave.
And while she's not looking -
A blank tile is thieved from the bag, as easy as that ..
I play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY,
Having thrown back the V from my rack.
She returns and asks me if I cheated.
"Of course not," I wryly plead, to help put her mind at ease ..
Before she plays IGNORE on the triple-word for 21 points,
The score is 153 to her, 155 to me.
The steam rising from her cup,
Only seems to intensify in this torpid weather ..
As I try to make more murderous words of my rack,
When I spot the chance to use all my letters...
EXPLODES, using the X of JINXED,
Is the word I cruelly hail as I chew my nails ..
But as I put the last letter down, there's a deafening BANG! -
And the air conditioning unit fails.
My hearts now racing, but not from the bang -
More so my delayed reaction to this games amazing pattern ..
I don't believe it, but it can't just be coincidence -
The letters made it happen!
I played the word EXPLODES and the air conditioning exploded.
I played CHEATING when I cheated, which made me think ..
These words are coming true.
The letters are choosing their future, and this whole game is - JINXED!
My wife plays SIGN, with the N on a triple-letter.
I have to test this, so I play with a passion ..
I have to play something, something unlikely...
To prove that the letters are making this happen!
My rack is ABQYFWE.
That doesn't leave me a lot of options based on what I want to see ..
So I play FLY, using the L of EXPLODES,
And start chewing frantically on the B...
I sit back in my chair, waiting to fly.
The idea weighs on my mind as I grapple thoughts ..
Stupidly, I listen harder, and there's a fly -
Buzzing around just above the Scrabble board.
It surfs the thermals from the tepid cup of tea,
But nothing's proven by its astute arrival ..
As the fly could have been there anyway -
I need to play something unambiguous, something absolute and final...
My wife finds CAUTION, using a blank tile for the N,
I'm sat in vast dismay, trying to catch a break ..
My rack is AQWEUK, plus the B in my mouth -
Maybe I should cheat again, and pick out the letters needed for SLASH or SLAY...
Then it hits me. The perfect word.
I play QUAKE for 19 points, and my joy is restored at the choice I've procured ..
I wonder if the strength of the quake -
Will be proportionate to the amount of points that it scored?
I feel the trembling energy of potential in my veins,
With the world in my palm - I'm commanding fate ..
My wife played the word CHOKE for 28 points,
Just before the living room began to shake.
But as tremors tore through the foundation of our household,
The nights air grew oddly morose ..
And I gasped with surprise and vindication -
As the B that I was chewing on became lodged in my throat.
My face turned red, and then blue.
I drew blood clawing at my neck to free myself of desperations grip ..
Before falling to the floor,
While my wife just sat there, watching.
That manipulating bitch.
Clack... clack...clack...