I'm going to start off on a tangent.
when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts. I have gotten to a point in my topical writing where I can begin by bullshitting until I stumble upon a thought or thread of ideas worth chasing down, much like how your typical college student writes essays or a race driver settles into a groove. I think this approach facilitates confidence and creativity. Not only are you organically searching for one particular shade of a light as it falls on the motif youre delving into, you are capturing the process, but you're laterally working in details and descriptions that might otherwise get skipped or undeveloped in a focused narrative.
it results in a thought-discussion. a chautauqua. a gorgeous tangent.
when you find this ONE segment that comes alive empowers you to write, you can go back and align and edit your verse to lead to this climax. The better writers need not edit so much to get to this point. But this initial seed crystal that gives rise to the verse (under careful examination by readers/voters) is very often identified by multiple topical writers as the best part of the verse. The highlight. The reason it is so obvious without being objectively approached is very abstract, I think it originates in its formation like I described.
so. Ive often described your verses as a powderkeg, with a single congruent line of thought and imagery running down the middle that, if shaped well, brings the entire verse alive once the apex is clipped. I think that the above ramblings explain that better, as well as address the reason some lines stand out as "real" "honest" "deeply poetic". its just concentric circles of rhymework, based at point like-
Quote:
anybody's crush but nobody's whore
let me open it. rotate the torque and hope that it turns
hiss hateful words and hope that it burns. who am i kidding?
i just wrote you a verse with a prayer that it helps
you know exactly how to make me stay. you made me yourself
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I think this was the crux of this piece. You can tell, the way it fell together was ethereal. It defies the most focused discussion of mechanics and literary techniques. It was just very well written and as this section alone could be a John Green quote for angsty teens to tattoo on their heels and not ever really wrap their heads around.
Evoking human response is an emotional calculus not fully understood but possibly approximated. A gifted few capture every dot on the curve.
"wax features wax poetic" excellent.
thought your diction was very tonal.
Sorry for the incoherent feed, just trying to describe everything down to the minutia, because I feel like the clear-cut pros/ cons, quotes with a "nice" and a focus on consistency within a verse is only helpful 6/10 times