View Single Post
Old 04-07-2013, 03:03 PM   #10
Split
.
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,904
Battle Record: 27-22



Rep Power: 85899395
Split has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond reputeSplit has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Vulgarity.

Quote:
Nature was a technological feat, trees offered leaves & made apes strong
A ripe green Perrot composed fronds from date palms
that's such a cool bar.

I don't think there's anyone better at imagery in written rap.

Quote:
Tranhumanist neuron pollen collectors, garlic and nectar
A gauntlet of moralist textures. Spawned from Kepler’s tonics and lectures
parabolic receptors in the tree branches grew Panasonic in texture
“Don’t you understand? The tree of life needs no penthouse.”
wow.

awesome multis and good transitions, a little rough in spots because of the massive vocabulary, but for the most part the risk you took was way diminished by the reward you pulled. I like the consistent theme of the wordplay. Not excessively comprehensive, rather, sketches everything all at once, and then at the end fills in the heart with vivid color. See above quote. Cool verse. I like how the idea that "our world dies, but life goes on" implies that our world is not only superficial vegetation and animals, but also the Idea of nature and how it pertains to us, and this is what we ultimately lose


Ink. Another cool verse.

Quote:
s this to be the second flood? Is Nine the ark that I have won?
A vessel with which to carry on the legacy of song and drum?
This feeling... it's uncertainty... Can a numbered ragdoll truly breathe?
Or is this another monstrosity?! Oh, the vanity of human beings!
This doll was once my daughters friend, her confidant and guardian
Her Parthenon to revel in, when days were colored, nights were dim
cool, that really summed up the verse for me. Strong schemes and a good story, and yet metaphorically vague. I havent seen the movie.


Quote:
A stich in time can save from nine, but Nine is where my faith is placed
In a disgraced world unraveling, nothing less will survive our fate
I've suffered many pricks for this and licked the wounds my wife would kiss
If she were here to share the end, we'd lace our hands and she'd be Ten
>>right here i wish you woulda explored the number naming concept more or characterize
Flip on the electricity, the lightbulbs glow, adjust settings
Secure the doll with fastenings, and now it's time for life to breed
the way the character was forming relationships with inanimate objects, i believe, was the main thing... when every real relationship has faded, the one that he neglected all along is the one that succeeds and triumphs over him.

the daughter's death left him not believing in the things that inspired her... youth is dead and only age remains... an awesome description of an "Old World" literally. its weird to me how you ended it, it seems the 'life' you were trying to display as an investment in symbols simultaneously dies and takes over... if it had been slightly differently built or foreshadowed/ developed differently i wouldve possibly given this to you

V/ Vulgar. enjoyed his verse a little more in terms of mechanics and also the controlled depth to his storytelling.
__________________
http://split8.yolasite.com
Split is offline