first verse - i thought this was dope despite some metaphors going over my head. you had a good flow, and your use of multis, assonance and alliteration really came off nice and enjoyable. i thought overall your diction was pleasant, i enjoyed all the referencing you did, from indian culture, religion history, etc. it was really cool, i've always loved good referencing in rap lyrics and in topicals and i'm slowly trying to incorporate it into my own. interesting concept, overall great read.
second verse - i thought this was a cool story, simpler to comprehend than the first verse, less metaphors going over my head lol. this read smoothly, it was an interesting story that made it easier to read forward. you have a decent rhyme scheme, i can't complain about it, but it just didn't quite match the rhyme scheme of the first verse. there was use of great imagery to help the story along. cool piece overall.
vote - so i don't think the writing skill of each of these pieces were close, but the battle was close for me. i enjoyed reading the story of the second verse better, but in the first verse, i just enjoyed how well it was written, without being able to comprehend the full meaning of it. this is a tough vote because i prefer to vote for the piece i thought was written better, but i feel like a jerk off voting for a piece i didn't fully understand, so vote goes to the story i enjoyed that was outclassed by the technical aspects of it's opponent. i will definitely be on the look out for more in the future by the writer of the first verse.
second verse.
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