"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
—Stephen Levine
"Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field of artificial falcon insemination, and could these developments be used to improve the American electoral process?'"
—Dave Barry
"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered."
—Voltaire
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, still exists."
—Phillip K. Dick
"Remember, it was Saint Patrick who drove the snakes out of Ireland, and Dick, I believe that took place in a Buick..."
—Chester
Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. ~Ludwig Börne
"Never mistake motion for action."
—Ernest Hemingway
"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."
—Mark Twain
The obstacle is the path. ~Zen Proverb
Oh, Heaven, it is mysterious, it is awful to consider that we not only carry a future Ghost within us; but are, in very deed, Ghosts! ~Thomas Carlyle
The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him? ~Chuang Tzu
"What makes life worth living? To be born with the gift of laughter and sense that the world is mad."
—S. Scaramouche
"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."
—Horace Walpole
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. ~Navajo Proverb
Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
"He's as weird as purple spotted flying aardvark, bent on destroying the known universe."
—Kaitlin, about me
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
—Carl Gustav Jung
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