[Sovereign]

Originally Posted by Krucial Th1rt3en

this aint a Mario game wen i say im dumpin Shells out a Cannon,
u hittin the floor like Satan Castout, thats a Hell of a landing.

> Not bad. Both of these concepts are played but you at least executed and tied them together well.

u aint gon do shit, n your homies better shut they damn lips,
bcuz i wood blaze your circle if anyone from your Camp Trips.

> You ever hear about the concept of a wordplay working both ways? This one doesn't. "I wood blaze your circle"... that shit ain't grammatically correct.

test me, playin Games wit the Devil will make u sorry,
u dont want our Pencils to Cross, like Charlie Charlie.

> I get the feeling that this concept is played, but I don't recall ever having seen it before, and the bar is pretty well-executed, so it gets my stamp of approval.

u say your GodLike? well, now i would like to tell u...
ur words r forced the hell out of, so u think the power of Christ Compels u[

> It's generally a bad look to use a concept similar to one you've already used in the same battle.

Overall: Not a horrible verse by any means, but not particularly exceptional either, and noticeably flawed. [10/20]

Originally Posted by bleak

Ur bitch or ur cash. I need it all, the thought is tempting.
They both choked up when arms out... the Force is strong within me.

> You're right, the rhyming in this bar was extremely forced. Though the concept wasn't too bad.

My demons riding, steaming by and making lore real
If u claim Kru's a fix to win, u best have that &then some more steel.

> You might also want to familiarize yourself with the idea of wordplays needing to work both ways. "If you claim crucifix to win..."
- Doesn't sound right, does it? Additionally, I hope that you didn't mean to convey the wordplay steel / steal at the end, since that also doesn't work,
but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

gun's so hot it pops. the fun don't stop, we ride shove
By my count, he fairs badly. I'll pull up and fry anything you can think of

> I don't get it, but one-syllable rhyming for the win.

collected yo bitch's loot to let you know the score... light!
just had to build a case &she was on my tower within the Fortnite.

> This concept seems a bit counterproductive since a fortnight is a fairly long period of time (two weeks). I also feel like the wordplay at the end doesn't really work. A creative concept but not too well-done.

Overall: You had a decent opener but everything after that was lackluster, to say the least. [9/20]

MVGT: Krucial Th1rt3en