[Blue Bayou]

Since u bedridden! I do the rest of my part, razor extend--i slice at ya heart
Completed the Goal & Objective got spread across the sheets-I'm makin a Flowchart
niice, good np... yo heart / flow chart would've been smoother, but that's nitpicking
Why bother? Today i write you the perfect death, u face to face with ya author
I aim the nose at ya clothes! These Pops thru your jeans aint a biological father
nah, pops/Pops & genes/Jeans too dated without a crazy flip & I don't see that here tbh
Catch you in the whip! Blade pointed, thats a decimal..it turn u into a vegetable
Driver seat full of stab wounds...have u sleeping behind tint like the Fyre Festival
great Doc.... anyways, tent/tint? sorry if im off beat here, but if so nah
Im nothin, but terror! Thinking if i let off 6, then you gone need 6 to pallbearer
Ya lower back malfunction! Rounds eject in & out this machine, u'll catch a disc error
dope meta, punch seems light, but the concept carries it
The gun Russian! I flash this Heat in the Light, i can make a Science Combustion
Shots ripping! I shift down & delete Object off the surface like Sims Construction
cool... throwback


Vs


Listen up dumb fuck, I can tell you need a line to bite,
faggot dine a mic till he's well fed on his salty rhymes tonight.
ehhh
This fuckers image on some mixed gender soccer moms, it's inerrant,
"I'm cool with da kids!", 2pac's avvy reflecting this, damn you're transparent.
no
Surrealistic events surround your wretched being like a bad bitch,
if people were on acid and stumbled upon you it's defo a bad trip.
nah, I see the angle but could've been more
If your clothing styles just as cheap as your bars you're hard to market,
your locations at the gun range cus people need easy targets.
target/Target? been done better
A dying carcass in the name of text with lame gunned down effects,
this faggot need to heed his words and read the shit his sig suggests.
meh



Dyna wins... some pretty good concepts & nice overall verse, next step for you is multi syllables (if you care...I do a bit)

Ob - keep elevating