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Old 02-03-2020, 02:22 AM   #43
Ouch
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Originally Posted by Bodey View Post
@Finnydot it took years for doctors to find the right combination and milligrams of meds to fit my needs, and it was an emotionally trying process. Unfortunately it’s not exactly a science. But once I landed, the first thing I thought about was “holy shit this must be how normal people feel.” Balance. Not crying over everything and being unable to stop. Way less anxiety attacks and not so deep of a depression spell. Pride has hit now and again and I tried weaning myself off, which was a terrible idea. Over the years I learned this is what I needed to do to stay right.

But it’s not just that, life requires coping skills. Situational depression and anxiety will obviously still occur. I’ve put holes in walls before despite being properly medicated. I go to the gym 3 tines a week to keep that kinda shit at bay. I work 40 hours a week and going to school for something I love. And I keep 2 good friends close for when I’m going through it and need to vent out morbid humor with someone who understands. Joking about your own trauma may not be healthy in the eyes of “normal” people but I can say it’s helped me not take myself so seriously. Attitude matters. I’ve been in some pretty dark places in my life and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back (after getting to the light at the end of the tunnel) and thinking man, I’m so glad I didn’t sabotage the fuck out of everything when I was goin through it.

Sorry to ramble. I’m in my phone so it’s hard to write. I got a dinky little iPhone 5SE over here. Vintage
Thats no ramble thats a real life experience. With me I know what the answer is i'm depressed and always have been depressed, I have a ton of anxiety now but before this I never did.

I got addicted to drugs, pills... oxycontin at first, then all opiate pills and heroin for years. I quit that, I think its been like 9 years, but once I quit that I started drinking which prior I never drank except maybe like once a month if my girlfriend dragged me to a party or a bar. Maybe even less than once a month. But now I drink every single day and I've been to multiple different rehabs.. and talked to multiple different levels of shrinks and therapists. Doesn't work.

But my point is they diagnosed me with long term depression... gave me prozac.. and also a ton of other meds gabapentin was one i think, like 3 or so others, none of them being abuseable meds... and none of them worked but like I said I was never stone cold sober when I took them.

To me though drugs aren't the answer I'm not saying it can't help some people and when I've tried them I was fucked up anyway so I wasn't dealing with a clean slate... but I don't think its the answer
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