First off, Cereal gets zero respect for his blatant lies about the laptop. It’s completely fictional. And even if it wasn’t, he could have typed up a quick something in here while he was here regardless… he clearly logged in, somehow, and had a chance to make a post. He chose not to. That was his choice. No excuses needed.
PA: You did your research on Robranda, which isn’t a surprise as you read a lot of Open Mic threads. I felt like she was the lowest hanging fruit here yet also the easiest to come at, I thought the random bringing up about her dead brother was a bit harsh as she seems a lovely person (if retarded) but you started talking a lot spicier when it came to Cereal I noticed. You went for him, nothing nice to say, kept it factual and to the point. The directness was an improvement from your love letter in week one here, but you will want something more creative and out-of-box conceptually to really appeal to the text battler heads if you’re going to succeed in the NBL. You’ll note even Zelph said up top that the line was “alright, had some truth to it,” and that’s exactly how I felt with your opening few lines - they were directed specifically at your opponent, but we’re waiting for some sort of misdirection or zinger at the end of the punchline to either make it harsh sounding or comedic for some reason. Use some wordplay if you have to, flip his name into a punchline or a joke, make a mockery of him, clown him so the voters can laugh with you at him. Use the direct observations and then sit on those a short while and try to come up with some concepts for punchlines that apply directly to that opponent. He’s a cereal, he’s a flake, you’ll eat him for breakfast… it’s quite simple to use some sort of word association to link two things like that and formulate the basis for a punchline idea. You need work in this format, for sure, but I think if you apply yourself you’ll get it eventually.
Master Rock: You have a lot of the same things as mentioned above, I think the difficulty you’re both experiencing somewhat is you’re used to the rhyme-dense topical league verse type scenario with a heavier tendency towards flow and rhyme scheme, where over here they want you to be attacking the opposition creatively and rhyme scheme / flow are almost like a secondary thought. They don’t want your lines to be crazily long, but it’s not so big an issue so long as you’re punching consistently and clowning your opponent. This was one was quite tough to vote on, I can’t lie, not a lot in it for me basically and both seemed to be quite evenly matched here but I had Master Rock with the slight edge as he seemed to improve from around the middle through his final third.
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