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Old 05-22-2023, 08:32 AM   #6
Diablo
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The topic is funny to me, on one hand it absolutely appeals to me for more obvious reasons, but on the other hand I can see this being a difficult one for the two of you. You don’t see many comedic or light hearted topical battles, but I think that may be the route I perhaps would have gone with this one. There’s obviously a conflict that could be written out between the two end users, either end of the computer, and that could have been utilised to good effect I felt here. There would also be a lot of emotion from either end, one growing increasingly angry while the other is bemused and that contrast could be pretty cool to play out between them - possibly even a catfishing story or something board related to do with PA and his recent spamming etc which would work. There’s a few different angles to this one that could work, let’s see what you guys have for it…

Pharaoh: I’m guessing you had next to no time this week and were forced to throw something together almost at the last minute. It’s a shame because there are actually a couple of highlights hidden amongst this, “Using music to school these clueless pupils,” is actually worded well and with good rhyme placement to give it that implied rhythmic flow. There’s some stuff in here either throw together quick or other parts where it just reads like random keys being hit in succession at the end of lines. You must have known this one wasn’t winning, but kudos for still coming through and attempting something rather than just no showing it.

Master Rock: As I’m reading through this I can’t help but feel like this is about me. Lol. The descriptions used, the word choices, it feels like you’re writing about me trolling PA on the boards. There’s a definite feel in that sense toward the start, when we have this writer omnipotent stance lording it over the entire web with everyone treated as it’s pawn. I liked that, a lot. You embodied the topic with this direct approach, placing yourself at its heart and actually making good of what was a difficult topic for the two of you I thought so creativity wise I also give you a nod here - I think quite a few would perhaps have struggled with this particular topic choice. This was far ahead of what we saw PA put up, not that that means a great deal given the circumstances I guess, Master Rock won this one for sure.
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