Rakontur: Here you chose the route of utilizing fanciful language to portray an enigma. A mystery women who was a plane? To me, the first stanza and the second seem to be portraying different characters objects, the second stanza was the better of the two in my opinion, it was really well done with all the plane allusions. The first stanza felt needlessly complicated for the sake of using elevating language. I mean I understood every word, but the way these words were combined made it seem somewhat disorientated. even though your diction was on point.
Asylum: To put it bluntly. I enjoyed your take on the topic more than Rak's. A tale of American marriage of promises of fidelity that turn to empty nothings as passions lead the heart astray. In a way, I liked this more than the other contender's, however, it needed more meat. If you had perhaps written 10 more lines while keeping the same amount of fire in your words, then I think there would have been more satisfaction. Because as lovely as this is, it feels incomplete, not rushed but incomplete.
Vote: Rakontur
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