Zygote - An expressionless narrative, expectantly so, not because of your robotic neuro-physique, but also because of your tendency to regard warfare with a steely resentment. I found this to be solid enough, though the flow was loose at the seams in some parts. I liked when you mentioned 'rational faith' - I don't think I've ever come across that concept before. Two polar opposite nations vs. one another on a tiny hill, the outcome proclaiming futility. If you were to ask my opinion on conflict being inherent, I might say it is. Humans remind me of army ants. Overall, this is a showing of conceptual strength, something I've come to expect from you, but I don't know if it'll be enough to topple Quaker Oats.
oats - You killed the topic, though this was a little long-winded. Some bars could've been cut away, not to take anything away from valuable and pertinent examples provided in the text. The rhyming was much, much tighter than Zyg's which was an immediate contrast that was taken into consideration. You open up with the same tone, usually, a slow, progressing, witty incantation that builds up steam and later crescendos with the necessary volume of passion. You chose to open up with a sort of brash introduction; I wasn't used to the brutal honesty. Not sure if I liked the rhyme scheme at the beginning that much. The more "profound" statements came later in the verse, summarizing your topic with a thorough air. (Not to be confused with Thoreau heir...okay, I kid.) "Reality is quite clear on the gravity of your orbit:
What are the lances of man's acumen when the galaxy is a fortress?" I could reflect on this bar all day. Really nice, and it's my style.
On the flip side, I wasn't feeling bars like this and they dropped in quality of conveyance:
"Illusions of primacy exist in every neighborhood
polluted entirely by the listless webs you rated good."
Voting on this one is tough because both interpreted the topic in different ways - Zygote went with a neutral stimulus, pitting two peoples against eachother in a demonstration of human nature's conflictual futility. Oats wrote about how we take our world too seriously and that we shouldn't be such control freaks. Didn't Nestle recently declare that the world's water supply isn't for free people but that it should be up for grabs by multinational corporations? Stuff like that was used as an example here. You're not as good when you get into a ranting-character mode in exchange for eloquence. You thrive at eloquence but you didn't put all your cards forward this time. The approach was cool, I thought the main issue was that you gave a wholesome rundown but there was a lack of instruction. You should breath a sigh of insignificance - you are a cog in the massive universal machine...but so what? What comes after? Might as well make the most of the time we are given. I'd like to be a king with a handful of maidens, personally, all bowing to my sexual whims and reminding me how Vulgarian I am.
My vote goes to Zygote. His approach vibed with me more. It wasn't an easy battle by any means.
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