Soulstice- incredible piece, just incredible. this piece travelled pretty far to tell itself, and even though that confused me, it came off as dope. I almost don't get the correlation to the picture, but that most likely because we see two diff things. I see trees split by a snowy road that seems to go up a summit; you saw a wall of sorts. I respect our difference in perspective, due to the fact that your piece was beautiful. It seems you're as good a writer as you're rumored to be. Good Job.
uh-oh-ummmm. this was kinda cool. More of an OM/quick key type of setup. I think the rhyming was very consistent, but not to the point where it was an annoyance. I think more was to be said here, as there was no real depth to this verse. I just came away from this read like, "well alright..." Not really because I thought it was bad, but because I felt it could have had a lot more to offer, given you had a fresh angle and an ok start. The ending was kinda bad to me and I think, honestly, if you metaphorically tied in those goldie locks references to weave a sick ass plot, I wudda gave this to you. All in all though, I think you could have tried harder and brought more to the table. Good job as a whole though.
In closing, this battle felt a bit lopsided. I'm not familiar with either of you guys' work, but I feel like the effort:reward ratio was pretty obvious here. though uh-oh had a more direct, simplified approach, soulstice had a stronger showing in writing ability and storytelling with complex elements present. MVGT Soulstice
__________________
Ahem.
|