I scream with more intensity then a thousand legions burning,
its not a dream, its more my plea, to heal the pain n hurting.
that line was crazy. I felt like this was cool but needed a little more focus. you were trying to convey an emotional piece but iono some parts just seemed like filler a bit. and I think you need to work on your cadence a little more. that line I quoted is what all your lines should be. slow it down. anyway this had some good lines in there. good stuff.
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