[asylum]

razah - damn bro, great approach. probably my favorite line..
I used to rewind tapes with the same pencil I write with

that shit was dope. but my favorite bars were these..
Used to envision the words, we're the same if that isn't absurd
An addiction to diction couldn't get rid of the urge
One hell of an artist to have your life & their lyrics to merge
But I've grown distant, reminiscing on the moments it captured

that was very. i would have liked the last line to continue from reminiscent, since it would have sounded good right next to distant.. but that's just being picky. altogether this piece is really dope bro i gotta give you props. captured the essence of hiphop from an artists perspective well and I appreciate that.

timeless - my favorite lines..
The devil you know, the one who realigns each pattern of breath.
Always sees red, even if sometimes green pastures are left.

that shit was poetic as hell. you used a lot of good feeling inducing word choices, this has a strong lonely ass vibe to it. kinda a depression piece, analyzing it a little but in a grander sense. I think your piece was reliant on a character you didn't fully develop. altogether tho, i think this would have been a stronger piece if you had staid straight topical. so, the story part wasn't as strong as the tone you went with. also, the connection with your topic felt a little bit thrown in at the end. and your ending going from the third to first person wasn't entirely cohesive. that being said, i vibed with this and appreciate your effort. i'm familiar with depression and you gave some inner turmoil a voice of it's own here, very creative.

/v razah came with a more solid piece that had a better connection with his image thoughout the pieces entirety. also, i felt his mechanics a bit more.