For so long,
I considered myself an indestructible being,
An adrenaline driven testosterone beast
Obsessed with making life into a perpetual delight.
Thought I was forever divine, a beautiful sexual design.
Illusions of grandeur had my head in the sky
Never resting my eyes, thinking death isn’t alive.
Making night into day, staying up as a test of the mind.
Awake when I shouldn’t be, always questioning time.
Until that moment came, where my health declined.
Toxic cells divide, contemplating self-demise.
Now, pitying my existence even my devils cry;
I’m on a hellish plight trying to find any measure of light.
I keep telling myself this adventure isn’t mine.
My quasi-immortality was truly the treasure of life
But, I forsook it by letting it pass by.
No matter how much I desperately try
I can’t prevent the pathogenesis inside
Infected alive,
I spent my time expelling pain from senses that cry,
Forced to reveal my sentimental side.
But, by that time it’s too late, homeostasis collapses.
This self-regulating life form turns into a fatal contraption
That spurs unbearable flames of anguish;
So painful, the only recourse is to embrace the casket.
If only I hadn’t neglected my body
But, I was too subjectively godly.
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