[ZeeDee]

Zygote, I first want to say that I like how you think outside the normal perimeters of writing and come with very creative concepts to expand... but I also know that u don't like being constricted to the normal formats of flow of rhymes cuz my first week here, u wrote a verse about disliking the limitations of having to write with flow formats.... with that being said... I'm sure you can see the flow in this one is lacking... it is a verse and this is a text rap format so its just part of the basic score on judging any verse... now that that's out the way though, this is great sci fi writing in it's original creativity and developing details.... damn the details.... from neuroligcal blockers to sexual sterilization... your effort was put in the details obviously and not the format... the long lines and lack of rhymes throughout threw me off and then it became like reading a news article... which was yout intension I think from how u wrote it...

Iambent, interesting take... you put a great amount of effort on the build up of the story and painted a very colorful schematic for the story to fall in... so... the father gets bit on a boat and comes home as a werewolf? I like your writing technique a lot actually, there's just a severe lack of action for a werewolf story.. he just gets bit and comes home and bites his wife I'm guessing cuz its also narrated from the daughters or sons viewpoint too? There's a lot happening in this verse that isn't really drawn in the details... Ur an excellent writer, don't get me wrong... but I would have loved to read more gripping and exciting details of this monster picture displayed as the topic... its like you went the route of a play for a sci fi feature... he doesn't create any other victims, nothing on the crazy transformation process that had to take place... the imagery was good in the first sequence and it becomes hard to follow as u build several characters in one sequence and none of them have names... he's a merchant and selling someones daughter to the werewolf?.... I didn't see that in any of the other details... that's a crazy ending.... I would of liked this much more if u were tactless in ur approach to being a merchant of sacrifices for the monster...


its weird because iambent excelled in the areas that I believe zygote failed at within the flow and structure, but failed in the areas that I feel zygote excelled at in the details and interesting features of a sci fi monster story and creativity was more in favor of zygote too.

I actually wanna face iambent again because I went an unusual route in our last match wit explaining a theory of Jesus Christ really being Ptolemy Ceasar, the son of Julius Cesar and Cleopatra and the line limit didn't give me enough to clearly put it together.... but zygote had a much more entertaining verse even with the lack of flow, the concept was creative and his execution was enjoyable. I had a hard time following all the characters of Iambent story and the ending suggested something I didn't see in the story at all, but I did enjoy the very colorful start within the first 2 stanzas...

My vote may be biased because I want to face Bent so I'm withdrawing my vote... this match is too close to e decided by the person that will face the winner...

Ill write a mag article about the matches this week to make up for this as well. Sorry fellas... this matchup was too close to decide anyway. I've changed my min on it 4x already