i had a long ass vote that just got fucking deleted.
but yo, zygote your futuristic and clinical psychologic terminology was dope to me. and although your take on the topic was set in a really dope yet unrealistic setting, the wordiness did take away from your final product in some senses. being somebody who personally does not make it habit to write in full sentences and rather pinpoints specific ideas i find myself appreciating the kind of thing you do even moreso especially in light of the normative criteria here. admirable. but all that aside you were more verbose than your really needed to be in many lines and that took away from your overall shine which was itself pretty nuts.
During initial testing 100% of surviving deviants underwent all these voluntary challenges,
Note: those who did not comply did not survive and were not included in this statistical analysis.
my favorite line.
BENT
lmao you had an interesting story here man. you had a lot of development packed into very few lines so one has to follow really close to know where youre going with this. i think HERMIT BARON should have definitely earned a bit more description than a single adonis line. i mean, idk man it felt unfulfilled in terms of character. you give us enough but it's delivered in a way that feels like its full of holes even for the slice youre giving us. it took me a min. to realize the first and last verses were even connected and even longer to clue into her father's motivations for asking this of his daughter. no background on thi werewolf dude in a mansion. idk man. crucial questions are brought up and never concluded or even evaded in a satisfying way. not to mention i felt a lot of strain in some of your rhymes. like trying to put square blocks in triangle slots. it just came off as more effortful than it should..
on gut instinct, i have to vote in zygotes direction. like i said, i had a more extensive vote but it was lost so this will have to do.
take care
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Zack Wicks for president
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