[Split]

Zygote.
Lol'd hard at furry verse.one of the funniest pieces I've read, great dry sense of humor, more in this week than any other lol. "Pancake, you are worse than trash" comes to mind. I see where your verse had its internal rhyming that really should have made it flow, but the format/structure did a lot to counteract that. Some lines that used blunt alliteration and assonance, when rolled together without commas or pauses, barely even rhymed because the cadence of the verse was jammed together. It did rhyme, multis were nice, the lyricism showed through, I'm just noting that it was not especially smooth or accentuated. It would have been more enjoyable as less of a monolith.


BenT.
I'm coming for you btw, you've given me my only legitimate loss in a glorious slew of no shows.

Lol wat is argosy.

I can't quote of ill lose my vote, but it's clear you've been writing a long time, very polished lines in there. Nice rhyme scheme that doesn't get ahead of itself. Dope especially in how it attacks the picture, very methodical but not obviously so. Mansion mist lel. Really cool verse, cool story, I like the poetic twist.
What catches me up is the poetic nature though... A few parts th should have been transparent/ lucid or really expanded were actually opaque. I dunno what roles the character you introduced were playing. Was the dad a drunkard, why did he take the rose, was the rose symbolic, what was good w/ the mother, was the bite symbolic etc

You got a good command of poetry but it didnt *click* for me here. It straddled the divide of descriptive, symbolic, and rhetorical and fell into the abyss in the middle. There needed to be more of a rising action, and more characterization, I think. Either tht or just come out and say what ur gonna say

I really laughed my ass off at Zygote's verse. Stuttered a lot. Bent's was smooth but ended up a half-furled flower. Dope battle, really had to think and compare

V/zygote