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Old 05-09-2013, 04:20 PM   #17
Dove Dozer
loose leaf bruce lee
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,079
Battle Record: 7-6



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zygote. well written in a really editorial way. it felt very news reel like while reading it, with a huge vocabulary and good rhyming choices. I felt it lacked a diverse scheme, which is really the only complaint. Had you wrote this with a little more swag to it, it would have been perfect in my eyes. Still a retarded dope drop man. ill piece.

bent. dude you're rhyme scheme on this is nice. mechanics were solid with some crazy quotables in there too

"..We throw crates, into this beast, hoping to stay afloat
Our closed fate, limp in defeat, mostly a pale joke
In the specter of death,… I reflect in regret, the losses it swallowed-
Colossal! -, it followed me off of the wreck and onto the brothels.."

real nice man.

Vote Bent

both wrote amazing in this battle, but I felt IAmBenT just out wrote zygote in this piece in a number of ways.

sick battle.
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