Split - I don't know man. 1. the shortened bar style didn't always flow good with me. I did highly enjoy the father slicing of throat section due to word choice and the fact it was a bit hidden...But as a whole, I did not particularly enjoy this verse. It lacked quite a bit in terms of flow and imagery. Then as far as the overall meaning, I can't place a finger on what it is bro. I know you counted up, essentially giving away the 4 messages, but even then, it just wasn't good enough or strong enough writing IMO.
Z - Good use of maps and atlas throughout, that gave me a sense of you trying. It added depth while reading, I enjoyed the schemes for the most part. A lovers quarrel, I will complain though that this verse is soft. I mean almost like you crying on the proverbial Desktops shoulder, but it was written nicely, nay, nice enough.
V/Zombie
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is
TUPAC SHAKUR
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