Firstly the picture that Candy got I’ve actually seen used previously in the GSL at Rap-Royalty. In fact IIRC I even dropped a last minute entry against @
Ullr to it there so I’ve even wrote to that exact same image myself previously which perhaps works against him to an extent so far as my own vote goes, but I’ll try not to distract from that too much here in the interests of fairness to all involved.
Candy has some abstract wording I can appreciate on occasion like the “golden woven spiders” snippet where I can visualise the wiring of the suicidal bomb strapped under the dress of the female and appreciate, but then others like the description of “pony hair” which for me doesn’t work anywhere near as well and somewhat takes me out of the picture. I think you get a really mixed bag between the two with Candy, he seems to write quickly and keystyle the majority of his work when if he applied himself more and took care and time over it he could produce something far more substantial. To be honest when we entered the section on the “hymen” and “ass” it went from being somewhat serious in tone to something child like, not just from a writers voice but also the language being used in describing such things, it didn’t really resonate with the image IMHO in the tone of the writers voice of the word choices employed. I did read on and noticed that the word “faggot” and “bald vagina” were also used in there but I honestly decided to stop at that point because it just felt rather immature and irrelevant to me. Sorry.
Symetrik: This was far better, you immersed yourself in the quotation and build your verse firmly around it. Actually not even around it as ‘in’ it if that makes sense, and that’s exactly where this needed to take place. The quote was in reference to the amazing bond between father and daughter, and what I also enjoyed here was that you ended it from the daughters perspective. Not yet born, but already with aspirations and expectations ahead of your time. Just like all daughters have in my experience, and I’ve two that are very determined and headstrong in knowing what they want. Lol. I actually felt this was a really difficult topic for me personally to write about and it’s not one I tend to go into detail on due to personal circumstances around the birth of my eldest daughter, but yeah - it was a real test of my abilities to try and write something so close to home. I wanted to make mine longer originally but time (and emotions) got the better of me this week writing it. Sorry I didn’t write more and max out.
Vote - Symetrik