Sweet Alaskan asparagus tips, this was a delicious read by both of you gentlemen. Welcome to the playoffs.
Mike, that's the best verse I think I've ever read from you. Flow was sound, exception interpretation of the photo curved into a balanced and reoccurring explanation of the rise and fall of cities, nations, civilizations, and to some extent, worlds. This was sound, and progressing through a well thought out story where, at a certain point, a freeze frame shot of the topic pic was painted into the readers head. For whatever reason, this bar stuck with me "to expand, towards the horizon, seeking, searching,
trying to unlock all mysteries, through teaching, learning/"
Witty, the aptly worded and very visual second stanza really stood out to me.
Quote:
"Night has the right of way, but she fights for the light of day
And though most of her kids died, one tribe kept the knife at bay
Each and every night they fight to keep the fright contained"
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This was a beautiful display of writing my friend. The consonance in the bolded section was a perfect garnish here. The second bolded line especially, you had two separate consonant repetitions going while maintaining your rhyme scheme, that was dopeeeeeee. That was my favourite section in this, a similar type concept as your opponent but you focused a little more heavily in the negative aspect. Very solid drop with many quotables.
The Prognosis, Witty, your verse was a very vivid, well worded, smooth read with many high level literary displays. I felt your rhyme scheme was on another level then your opponents, I would also presume that you did very well in English class with your obvious understanding of literary devices and how to effectively use them. What I didn't like about your verse, or what I felt could have been improved on, especially in comparison with your opponents verse here, is that you seemed to only really focus on two main points. Your level of in depth description on the rise and the fall and fall was very enjoyable, however I felt Mikes approach was stronger here. Loved the verse Mike. I felt your description of the rise and fall, the extended metaphor of that village with all villages, the debris being the ruins of a failed societies, just the way you transitioned everything together was phenomenal. As mentioned, I did feel your opponent was a level higher then you in terms of rhyme complexity, however you made up for it with a verse that drew me in more, and left me with a greater wow-effect. Good read from both!
+1 Mike