VV, could tell you had a decent amount of fun writing this. Using multiple topics is a risky move, but I think you played it just right. As far as the writing goes, it was lackluster to say the least. Your rhyming was pretty basic, couple of lines didnt even rhyme properly, the flow was so-so. Overall it wasnt bad though after another read, wish you wouldve been a little craftier.
KR, same with v, you fell victim to a basic display of words with a really akward flow at times. Your story wasnt too great either. The father died by bardwire? Come on. You couldve did a lot with your concept in mind and packed a lot of emotion but it just didnt happen for you.
V. VividlyVague for a more semi-enjoyable read.
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