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Old 03-16-2014, 12:58 AM   #7
zygote
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Vividly vague uses a whimsical setting to great effect, characterization was a bit one-dimensional but that is OK because clearly the focus was on rich descriptives of the universe. Story progression wasn't linear at all but that is also OK because it was interesting how the action moved from place to place without much coherence, it added to the fantasy atmosphere. King Ra's use of writing tone stuck out, it was a very cool train of thought type of deal, colloquialisms, self rationalizations and a bit of self-doubt, some good internal dialogue to explain the progression through narration rather than description. In a way kind of the polar opposite of VV's approach here. Lacking a bit of the stylistic showmanship that VV had, but the language was more direct, which actually fits in with the internal monologue style kind of, it would be unrealistic to go for fancy similes when it's essentially just a narrator talking to themselves. It all comes down to execution, both had good elements and used a certain style/tone to emphasize their overall theme, but I think King Ra executed it a little bit better. Voting for King Ra.
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