This is a tough match to vote on. Vivid had a more interesting piece to me, and the lush descriptions of the video game worlds were a lot of fun. Of course, the end of a father and son playing together was a warm one. If anything, I just felt like there was oomph missing. You took a challenging route by incorporating many topics, and found a way to weave them all into one overarching story, but it's almost like there wasn't a point? Idk, sounds harsher than what I mean, I'm just saying that when I finished the verse, I was truly finished with it, not much stuck with me other than it was a fun read.
Ra, less exciting, more straight-forward approach. There was a lot of raw emotion in there, and it was underscored by an incisive honesty that fit, despite making the writing itself a little more bland. The fifth funeral being his own was a good look, too. My one qualm here was that, similarly, I think there were lots of holes that could have been filled in terms of diving deeper into the content. I guess I expected a little bit more meditation on mortality or life in general, whereas this was mostly just a "Final Destination" type paranoia.
Vote: Both were so different, and succeeded in very different ways. I gotta edge it to Vivid. Both verses were good ideas that left me wanting, but the atmosphere of Vivid's verse pulled it out for me.
__________________
You should be water
|