"That old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing"
cimm:
you and i pretty much told the same story this week.. you just wrapped it up in a beautiful, efficient, concise bow. something about your word choice, rhyme schemes, wordplay, etc. all work for me. my only issue is with the topic at hand.. only the "do the right thing" portion really ties in here. if there'd been something about mutual sniping or degredation of the relationship as a result of vendetta, it would have rang a little less hollow.
pent:
abab scheme! you're a maniac. "dime store magic to suspend girls and boys" doesn't seem right, i assume you meant to suspend their disbelief but couldn't fit the rhyme scheme so you just did it anyway? red head/big headed was cheap, you can do better than that. love the allegory of mcd's and other chains, though you are encroaching on pinot grij's territory here with the satire. unfortunately, you seem to have gotten bored with the direction halfway through and copped out with a ridiculous ending that needed much more expansion/story to have a satisfying conclusion.
v/ cimm
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