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Old 02-23-2013, 05:45 PM   #11
Frank
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Join Date: Oct 2001
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c.d.m's patient study was more of a victory over ronalds psyche. as a physiologist veritas can be quite menacing in this way. he can leech onto another posters soul like a bat at a hell. this verse was utter rubbish but in the demented world of crazy people it was beautifully done. little more explosive next time. fine tune the mechanics and you have a field study for sure. be sure to label this rat with appropriate tag with bold black marker. also sign this picture and send it to his address to further eradicate your victim. little tidbits.

ronald. leaving away? talk about an anti climax. this caught on fire here and there. I think the latter part of the verse was more meaningful for you as a writer. Always remember schemes are a plus. this kind of just shuffled into a dead end street and died. Try and connect more in those final moments. Those are the moments that last a life time.

Overall...
Obviously I can't vote for in.fatu.ation. vote goes to rawn macdon
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