06-15-2024, 06:11 AM | #1 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
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“Net Seas”
“Between you and me,” the fish begins gasping “This here used to be a spot swimming with talent,” The glint in his nacreous pearls fades from the eyes into stygian blackness at the changing of tides. “New waves would arrive, but old schools wouldn’t adapt,” The grey he now glides through hid its colourful past. A lusciously lavish lime-green grows festered with fauna as young whippersnappers seek less treacherous waters. The septic old stalwarts are stuck in their ways full of selfish importance and reluctant to change. They love to inflate their worth to excess in verbatim too stubborn to make way for the next generation. Those set in their ways want to keep what they have - with the rest relegated to feed off their scraps. The green-gilled that gather can’t afford to be different so they eat up the chance of each morsel they’re given. There’s a war of attrition bubbling already amidst them as it’s poor eco-system brings the threat of extinction. The real enemy isn’t sharing space in the pond - but in letting its visitors stagnate for too long. When the greyfish are gone, I’ll carry this place on my back despite my aging accomplishments or the weight of the task. But it takes a collaborative effort for our scene to survive and we must sustain what we have to help us keep it alive. I’m breathing new life into it, whether as big as some think or a meaningless fry, but either way - I’m still just a fish. You sink or you swim, the size of the pond our sort inhibit is insignificant, it’s little fish that make all the difference.
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) Last edited by sral; 06-17-2024 at 02:28 AM. |
06-15-2024, 10:30 PM | #2 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Actually fire as fuck and really really real
Stay fishing
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Zack Wicks for president |
06-17-2024, 01:26 PM | #3 |
WOW
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Ya this is dope. Short verses that say a lot with less words are refreshing.
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A.bove T.he R.est
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06-21-2024, 10:43 AM | #4 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,403
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
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Rep Power: 85899392 |
respect
thanks for peeping
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
07-01-2024, 06:34 AM | #5 |
Sini
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 343
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Dragon Claws
I'm dragon claws, tangent sprawl -- I'm the most evil person in exsistence
Stay persistent with pen' rage and instants of ocean's burning to mince meat I'm killing the game, fulfilling the rage of a thousand dragons and elephants Deck a dent, I'm the president resident able to kill the Prince I'm the ultimate rhymer in a cypher, able to KILL THE KING Fulfill the ZING! I'm the dragon teen, killing RINGS as a venemous MC I'm the dragon killer, maws are ancient, type abrasions Mic and statements, kill time -- by literally killing time writing rhymes I'm not to be fucked with, always fucking elephant woman Celebaite kid shit, I'm tusks and ancient musk -- no rust or dust I'm coming with sharp objects to kill your antique antiques I'm killing OSMOSIS JONES with the prose, I'm a titan of tarsis Lightning will charge fists the daily departed wordsmith will burn crisps Germ Jizz from this dope kid, is like dope zit kid with nerd glasses Burn molasses, and I'm not average -- but a average cat with insane skill The Pains ILL, as I torture victims with the schism and algorithm I make woman bounce on my cock, it's exotic and cocked I cock back a semi-autmatic and kill ANIMALS like Death Note I breathe quotes of iron and silver, and deliver dinners when I ''THROW UP'' I go up and down the poll/pool till' I get wet the OVAL OFFICE Go through deposits and kill the marskman with '"DRAGON CLAWS'' |
07-02-2024, 01:49 PM | #6 |
Lime Life
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I won't break this down. I have read literally hundreds of your verses, I knew exactly what I was about to read before I read it, I knew where you were going to go with the allegory by the title alone, and I still loved every word of it.
You're the GOAT and if anyone has a solid argument that you're not I would really like to see it. I've been reading your work for the best part of 2 decades, in my early days, before I figured out how I wanted to write, I basically just bit your style. I think I've figured out what makes you so great and why you win relentlessly. It's oddly also why I consider Roald Dahl the greatest writer of all time. You have an incredible ability to engage with even the most casual of readers. You are accessible to absolutely everyone. Your writing is open and honest, it doesn't keep any secrets. Add to that your remarkable technical ability and you have a winning formula that never fails. You're the GOAT.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
07-04-2024, 10:43 AM | #7 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
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I respect it. I taught you everything I knew at the time in the hope you would carry this on when my time was up.
I just sort of never ended up retiring. I may never will. I love this too much.
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07-08-2024, 06:40 PM | #8 |
Lime Life
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I still write but it lacks something. I think I just don't have that fire and determination to be the best and I have too much respect for this thing of ours to post something if I feel like I could have done better.
I love this too and as long as this site is here I will always read verses, and if I feel compelled to I will post my thoughts. I come here every day and I read a lot. I'll post when I write something I feel is good enough. I have too much respect for this to post something second rate.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
08-12-2024, 03:17 PM | #9 |
The Clown Prince
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This was pretty sick, love the imagery you bring to a piece.
Once you hit that groove you never really let up and beast. I know everytime your name pops up round here it's dope. Kind of "Old Man & The Sea" type shit I'm catching with the flow. Overall dope shit. A lusciously lavish lime-green grows festered with fauna as young whippersnappers seek less treacherous waters. The septic old stalwarts are stuck in their ways full of selfish importance and reluctant to change. ^^ got a chuckle out of me, keep it up.
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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