She

Nigma · 10-04-2015, 06:38 PM

She...

she... she's sure she's made it. she's sure she's great.
she bursts on stage, the curtains fade. life defined, her purpose, fame
such a perfect baby. worthy of hanging up the worth which made me
those were the days. worsened gaze. see her now through a verse of angst
use curbs to aim. sure to slay. able to kill like the curse of Cain
deities first Kurt Kobain changing crimson clouds to purple rain
birthed her greatness, earned her fame. she murdered what i worked to save
she hurt my name. tainted. was heard of great, now burned and plagued
she turned of age, became victim to the turbulence that ensures success
her early work was first addressed as perfect, it obscured the rest
the plaques nailed up make a perfect setting, they're surely weapons
from pure and blessed to luring the next maturing generation blurred with sex
her innocence, the first of deaths. the difference is in her regrets
or lack there of, in a certain sense. each twerk encourage worsened credit
my black haired pumpkin, you hurt my head. hope those crutches found her
i saw her slumping down from the culture shock of what busts around her
shes a nasty slut on stage like a vulture, stalking and thrusting downwards
i struggle as a father watching her rub herself as her tongue flicks proudly
watched her climb and fall. my leeway is the highway. i am done with doubting
so now i slum it out in a shameful waste making tons from her blackened ways
i'll just slumber out my days cause it's clear to me that she can't be tamed
flail my hands in blackness, i fail to grasp the masses and the crap they take
it's the same old fable, mask yourself and act insane for the chance of fame
and when you finally have it, pray that you can erase all its hand restraints
realize you cannot break them, descend from whats sane as your saddle breaks
and one day you'll pass away regretting the many mansions your past created
what am i saying? don't cast away, no activation
just imagine every time they chant your name, its the laugh of Satan
be aware, despair will hang you, so make sure your path is sacred
the greatest pain is when you can't contain your families flame
beware of danger. practice, and lastly, prepare to mask the hatred
if i learned anything from Hannah Montana, it's to act courageous.

Exis · 10-07-2015, 03:10 AM

This was great man.The beginnin' in particular is dope, as a whole its just all around nice...your imagery is sick, you've laced this with that from top to bottom, good shit.

She...

she... she's sure she's made it. she's sure she's great.
she bursts on stage, the curtains fade. life defined, her purpose, fame
such a perfect baby. worthy of hanging up the worth which made me
those were the days. worsened gaze. see her now through a verse of angst
use curbs to aim. sure to slay. able to kill like the curse of Cain
deities first Kurt Kobain changing crimson clouds to purple rain
birthed her greatness, earned her fame. she murdered what i worked to save

^^Flames.

Stay upwards bro.

CopyPat · 10-07-2015, 08:12 PM

hhaa this was different. i wanna say funny but it really wasn't.. it was more amusing. i don't think i laughed but it obv wasn't serious. always glad to see something new and fresh so this was cool. flow was there. very nice. smooth. enjoyable read broseph

Mr. J · 10-12-2015, 02:09 PM

This was a cool piece as a whole, I didnt like the culture/vulture rhyme
I see how you used it but I wasnt really feeling the setup of these inners
regardless I feel you are one of the more crafted people that I faced in awhile
normally I would go the distance with the direction of a verse that you tend to focus on
but Ive been lazy as of late, you are one of the more technical people I enjoy watching work
keep it up breh, Ill knock you down next time we meet :)

10-04-2015, 06:38 PM	#1
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,724 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595810	She She... she... she's sure she's made it. she's sure she's great. she bursts on stage, the curtains fade. life defined, her purpose, fame such a perfect baby. worthy of hanging up the worth which made me those were the days. worsened gaze. see her now through a verse of angst use curbs to aim. sure to slay. able to kill like the curse of Cain deities first Kurt Kobain changing crimson clouds to purple rain birthed her greatness, earned her fame. she murdered what i worked to save she hurt my name. tainted. was heard of great, now burned and plagued she turned of age, became victim to the turbulence that ensures success her early work was first addressed as perfect, it obscured the rest the plaques nailed up make a perfect setting, they're surely weapons from pure and blessed to luring the next maturing generation blurred with sex her innocence, the first of deaths. the difference is in her regrets or lack there of, in a certain sense. each twerk encourage worsened credit my black haired pumpkin, you hurt my head. hope those crutches found her i saw her slumping down from the culture shock of what busts around her shes a nasty slut on stage like a vulture, stalking and thrusting downwards i struggle as a father watching her rub herself as her tongue flicks proudly watched her climb and fall. my leeway is the highway. i am done with doubting so now i slum it out in a shameful waste making tons from her blackened ways i'll just slumber out my days cause it's clear to me that she can't be tamed flail my hands in blackness, i fail to grasp the masses and the crap they take it's the same old fable, mask yourself and act insane for the chance of fame and when you finally have it, pray that you can erase all its hand restraints realize you cannot break them, descend from whats sane as your saddle breaks and one day you'll pass away regretting the many mansions your past created what am i saying? don't cast away, no activation just imagine every time they chant your name, its the laugh of Satan be aware, despair will hang you, so make sure your path is sacred the greatest pain is when you can't contain your families flame beware of danger. practice, and lastly, prepare to mask the hatred if i learned anything from Hannah Montana, it's to act courageous. __________________

10-07-2015, 08:12 PM	#3
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742222	hhaa this was different. i wanna say funny but it really wasn't.. it was more amusing. i don't think i laughed but it obv wasn't serious. always glad to see something new and fresh so this was cool. flow was there. very nice. smooth. enjoyable read broseph __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-12-2015, 02:09 PM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,028 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	This was a cool piece as a whole, I didnt like the culture/vulture rhyme I see how you used it but I wasnt really feeling the setup of these inners regardless I feel you are one of the more crafted people that I faced in awhile normally I would go the distance with the direction of a verse that you tend to focus on but Ive been lazy as of late, you are one of the more technical people I enjoy watching work keep it up breh, Ill knock you down next time we meet :) __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-07-2015, 03:10 AM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	This was great man.The beginnin' in particular is dope, as a whole its just all around nice...your imagery is sick, you've laced this with that from top to bottom, good shit. She... she... she's sure she's made it. she's sure she's great. she bursts on stage, the curtains fade. life defined, her purpose, fame such a perfect baby. worthy of hanging up the worth which made me those were the days. worsened gaze. see her now through a verse of angst use curbs to aim. sure to slay. able to kill like the curse of Cain deities first Kurt Kobain changing crimson clouds to purple rain birthed her greatness, earned her fame. she murdered what i worked to save ^^Flames. Stay upwards bro.