"hitman".. keystyle..

corleone · 03-30-2020, 02:24 AM

quick keystyle..

here's the plan.. I'm a hit man ready to kill//
I got orders from the boss, an Italian male//
he'll put a price on your head just for running your mouth//
and as a hitman I get paid to gun up your house//
plottin out, on top of the building.. I start kneeling//
point the sniper rifle at the man I'm killing//
cold blooded with no feelings.. I'll gut his fuckin children//
and nail their body parts to the fucking upper ceiling//
money had it coming.. he stole a thousand and somethin', cash,-
so you know the boss wanted his ass gutted//
I put the blade to his stomach, gave it a slice//
watch the blood spill from his gut he begged for his life//
I was their recruit.. hired to kill and pursuit,
dressed in combat gear and military boots//
spent years, in warfare.. training in Beirut,
near the peare, by side of the tents.. with army troops//
cartels and planes.. ready to distribute,
.. cocaine I slang, steady to all my troops//
.. I keep my doe buried, buried under the booth,
beneath all my weapons and table, where I salute//
but also you should know that.. right side of the tropaz,
I wired some explosives.. safe guarding the loot//
.. a bomb specialist, war veteran..
slash chemist, in black markets.. and a marksmen//
In desert storm, I was caught for money laundering,
and discharged for drug trafficking//
.. I was court marshaled.. locked up, in Vietnam//
but escaped.. while some died awake, reading psalms//
in a lake.. while some died of pain, blaming God//
no mistake.. some died of aids, from these whores//
I was great.. something like the late chey gurraw,
but crime pays.. despite foul play and the law//
.. a connoisseur and a carnivore,
I drink wine and eat steak for dinner and live like a boss//
In my estate.. I own several cars,
A few homes, a few yachts and a few bars//
.. I train hard, and got a few scars,
.. and dog tags that hang below to my two balls//
.. My jobs' the target.. I see his kid in the apartment,
one of em' ran but lunged into something very awkward//
He fell face first down the hall..
A neighbor shouted, "Help!",
seeing this kid, collapsed on the floor//
.. I hit up the fuse box and jammed the elevator,
And prior.. I cuffed his sister to a radiator//
I had no choice but to kill em' both..
I was under oath and cleaning My scope off with kitchen soap//
Initially.. I was on the roof, particularly,-next door//
Meditating my visual to check Gawd..
Yo, my shot missed and wrecked walls,
I'm speeding down the next hall,
from next doors' building as I check pal.. //
I made it to the room.. unexpectedly,
His kids checking me,
looking at me like this was the death of me//
I shoot their father, in his right arm..
to calm his kids down and make em' sit down, before-the-night-calmed//
I pulled my blade out and cut him where his stomach fade out,
that nigga laid out.. gushin' like something-came-out//
that's word on the bible..
His blood splattered on the wall.. down to my shoes, and unto my sniper rifle//
that's when I wiped the blood off the lens,
I seen his daughter cleansed,
lookin' like she met God and made amends//
I uncuffed her than.. from the radiator,
she told me.. she believed in a lord and savior//
I watched her mourn on her father's corpse..
In the apartment, broken hearted.. crying, she had a dying voice//
I than offered her a finer choice..
and asked of her mother but she replied, her parents-were-divorced//
.. she started trembling, I told her to calm down,
and sooner or later, she'll be back with her mom now//
but first.. "let's talk, let me explain one thing"//
"you can't speak anyone about today, or me"/
"you get it? I don't exist, we never met or spoke",
"for safe assurances.. please do as your told"//
"I need addresses.. aunt's, uncle's, adolescents",
"social security numbers and schools you've attended"//
".. secondly, I need pictures of you and your brother",
"but most importantly, pictures of you and your mother"//
"third of all.. I need some more information//
"like where your father stored his vehicle registration//
"from mortgages, to all documentations.. ",
".. including phone logs and conversations"//
"I need statements.. bill inquiries, with the dates and",-
"corporate locations.. starting from the latest"//
"last of all, I wanna say congratulations..",
".. and thank you for your cooperation.."//

Adverse · 03-30-2020, 06:57 PM

I dug this. It was a super long read but you told a decent enough story and your style was kind of reminiscent of like New York State Of Mind II esque Nas? And the subject matter and descriptions of events brought me back to Niggaz Bleed by BIG as well. I don't think you broke the mold or anything, subject matter was pretty basic and like i said reminiscent of some other classics, but i liked the concept and thought you kept your audience engaged as well as had a pretty fluid flow throughout. So cool shit keep droppin

corleone · 07-23-2020, 01:39 AM

^^^^^^^^^ uppin..

Pharaohs Army · 07-23-2020, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corleone

^^^^^^^^^ uppin..

"Upping" when you have FIFTEEN PIECES on the first two pages of the Open Mic. And you hardly drop any feed for others.

Just another reason why you're a douchebag as well as a pathological liar.

corleone · 07-23-2020, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army

"Upping" when you have FIFTEEN PIECES on the first two pages of the Open Mic. And you hardly drop any feed for others.

Just another reason why you're a douchebag as well as a pathological liar.

do I look like your English literature teacher or something? how am I obligated to over look everyones thread in the OM section.. ? and kid, I dont even know who you are so why the fuck would you call me a pathological liar? wow, you need help.. and last of all, I replied to a few of your posts already and gave you constructive criticism.. atleast have the decency to respond to my threads respectfully.

corleone · 08-11-2020, 03:45 AM

^^^^^^^^

Exis · 08-11-2020, 06:39 AM

I swear to God if I see 'keystlye' written again...this was shit hoe.Oh & diss me again slag, can't wait...will I respond to it? Um no.

Hush · 08-11-2020, 09:01 AM

Next time you “up” a thread I’m going to delete your account

No one can save you

Dope girl · 08-12-2020, 01:36 PM

He's so dope
anyway, you should hop on the mic

Objective · 08-12-2020, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corleone

how am I obligated to over look everyones thread in the OM section.. ?

You're not, but when you don't pay attention to anyone you're just another self entitled writer that sometimes got some good stuff going. Also, think about this: people are literally PAYING for you to be here (server costs and all that jazz), for you to have a place where you/us can post stuff in a such niche style of writing NO ONE in the writing world acknowledges it yet.

It's community driven, and to keep activity and interest up in a niche hobby such as this it's basically an unwritten rule to feed 2 pieces per 1 you post yourself. When you don't do that shit you're basically just an egotistical writer that don't give a fuck about what OTHER people do for you so you can get your attention fix for the day.

@Hush: He asked for people to delete his account and all his threads some day ago. Don't give him that. Put him to NCs jail instead.

Hush · 08-12-2020, 10:33 PM

Copy

dull boy · 08-14-2020, 07:09 AM

Love how Objective said, ‘yet’ lol

03-30-2020, 02:24 AM	#1
corleone Shakespearian Dialect Join Date: Mar 2020 Location: Brooklyn, NY --> Allentown, PA Posts: 1,022 Battle Record: 0-3 Rep Power: 0	"hitman".. keystyle.. quick keystyle.. here's the plan.. I'm a hit man ready to kill// I got orders from the boss, an Italian male// he'll put a price on your head just for running your mouth// and as a hitman I get paid to gun up your house// plottin out, on top of the building.. I start kneeling// point the sniper rifle at the man I'm killing// cold blooded with no feelings.. I'll gut his fuckin children// and nail their body parts to the fucking upper ceiling// money had it coming.. he stole a thousand and somethin', cash,- so you know the boss wanted his ass gutted// I put the blade to his stomach, gave it a slice// watch the blood spill from his gut he begged for his life// I was their recruit.. hired to kill and pursuit, dressed in combat gear and military boots// spent years, in warfare.. training in Beirut, near the peare, by side of the tents.. with army troops// cartels and planes.. ready to distribute, .. cocaine I slang, steady to all my troops// .. I keep my doe buried, buried under the booth, beneath all my weapons and table, where I salute// but also you should know that.. right side of the tropaz, I wired some explosives.. safe guarding the loot// .. a bomb specialist, war veteran.. slash chemist, in black markets.. and a marksmen// In desert storm, I was caught for money laundering, and discharged for drug trafficking// .. I was court marshaled.. locked up, in Vietnam// but escaped.. while some died awake, reading psalms// in a lake.. while some died of pain, blaming God// no mistake.. some died of aids, from these whores// I was great.. something like the late chey gurraw, but crime pays.. despite foul play and the law// .. a connoisseur and a carnivore, I drink wine and eat steak for dinner and live like a boss// In my estate.. I own several cars, A few homes, a few yachts and a few bars// .. I train hard, and got a few scars, .. and dog tags that hang below to my two balls// .. My jobs' the target.. I see his kid in the apartment, one of em' ran but lunged into something very awkward// He fell face first down the hall.. A neighbor shouted, "Help!", seeing this kid, collapsed on the floor// .. I hit up the fuse box and jammed the elevator, And prior.. I cuffed his sister to a radiator// I had no choice but to kill em' both.. I was under oath and cleaning My scope off with kitchen soap// Initially.. I was on the roof, particularly,-next door// Meditating my visual to check Gawd.. Yo, my shot missed and wrecked walls, I'm speeding down the next hall, from next doors' building as I check pal.. // I made it to the room.. unexpectedly, His kids checking me, looking at me like this was the death of me// I shoot their father, in his right arm.. to calm his kids down and make em' sit down, before-the-night-calmed// I pulled my blade out and cut him where his stomach fade out, that nigga laid out.. gushin' like something-came-out// that's word on the bible.. His blood splattered on the wall.. down to my shoes, and unto my sniper rifle// that's when I wiped the blood off the lens, I seen his daughter cleansed, lookin' like she met God and made amends// I uncuffed her than.. from the radiator, she told me.. she believed in a lord and savior// I watched her mourn on her father's corpse.. In the apartment, broken hearted.. crying, she had a dying voice// I than offered her a finer choice.. and asked of her mother but she replied, her parents-were-divorced// .. she started trembling, I told her to calm down, and sooner or later, she'll be back with her mom now// but first.. "let's talk, let me explain one thing"// "you can't speak anyone about today, or me"/ "you get it? I don't exist, we never met or spoke", "for safe assurances.. please do as your told"// "I need addresses.. aunt's, uncle's, adolescents", "social security numbers and schools you've attended"// ".. secondly, I need pictures of you and your brother", "but most importantly, pictures of you and your mother"// "third of all.. I need some more information// "like where your father stored his vehicle registration// "from mortgages, to all documentations.. ", ".. including phone logs and conversations"// "I need statements.. bill inquiries, with the dates and",- "corporate locations.. starting from the latest"// "last of all, I wanna say congratulations..", ".. and thank you for your cooperation.."// Last edited by corleone; 08-11-2020 at 03:44 AM.

07-23-2020, 01:39 AM	#3
corleone Shakespearian Dialect Join Date: Mar 2020 Location: Brooklyn, NY --> Allentown, PA Posts: 1,022 Battle Record: 0-3 Rep Power: 0	^^^^^^^^^ uppin.. __________________

08-11-2020, 03:45 AM	#6
corleone Shakespearian Dialect Join Date: Mar 2020 Location: Brooklyn, NY --> Allentown, PA Posts: 1,022 Battle Record: 0-3 Rep Power: 0	^^^^^^^^ __________________

08-11-2020, 09:01 AM	#8
Hush NJ Devil Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,042 Battle Record: Who Cares Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Rep Power: 84181417	Next time you “up” a thread I’m going to delete your account No one can save you __________________ Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk

08-12-2020, 10:33 PM	#11
Hush NJ Devil Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,042 Battle Record: Who Cares Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Rep Power: 84181417	Copy __________________ Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk

03-30-2020, 06:57 PM	#2
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,744 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446143	I dug this. It was a super long read but you told a decent enough story and your style was kind of reminiscent of like New York State Of Mind II esque Nas? And the subject matter and descriptions of events brought me back to Niggaz Bleed by BIG as well. I don't think you broke the mold or anything, subject matter was pretty basic and like i said reminiscent of some other classics, but i liked the concept and thought you kept your audience engaged as well as had a pretty fluid flow throughout. So cool shit keep droppin

08-11-2020, 06:39 AM	#7
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	I swear to God if I see 'keystlye' written again...this was shit hoe.Oh & diss me again slag, can't wait...will I respond to it? Um no.

08-12-2020, 01:36 PM	#9
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,707 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521416	He's so dope anyway, you should hop on the mic

08-14-2020, 07:09 AM	#12
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345601	Love how Objective said, ‘yet’ lol