Try to be successful

[Lost in Thought]

Just toked a bowl, puff the smoke then blow
Fingers take control, dont know what the fuck I wrote
I reread the passage, expected a busted flow at most
Read it aloud and see a crowd of ghosts forever hold thier toast

Another verse on the screen and its me whose writtin it
Take a second to breathe and reach for my vicodin
Take me two or three and wait for the high to kick in
An expesnsive habbit to feed for me to reach enlightenment

Shut off notice hanging with christmas a month away
Waitin to get paid cuz I face stress up the ass.. what a day
Cuss or pray? Cuz every single check stub seems under paid
I hate the wages I make but its twice as much as some have made...

Aint lookin at a half full glass or one thats half empty
I Calculate with math how long it lasts to make sure I have plenty
Cuz no one who's friendly enough to help me has any
Cash to give me so I stretch this shit to my LAST pennies

Bust my ass for this worthless check
get a nervous swet cuz i still havent found my purpose yet
Lookin down is gettin old and it hurts my kneck
but it makes it easy to watch my step as I'm worked to death

12 hours of work after 6 hours of drive time
18 hours to survive life and 6 hours of the times mine
4 hours for Z's and my sleep turns to stressin
A drug addict with work ethics maby one day he'll learn his lesson

High more than sober, so lifes almost over
This knifes gettin closer and the tighter I hold her
Its like I provoked her but she hides behind her composure
This knife is known a 'her' cuz like love it strikes when im most hurt

Blood drips on the carpet, whipe the splatter from the mirror
Blood streaks on my reflection but somehow I see clearer
Death is gettin closer as life is gettin nearer
But its first come first served, hope life is gettin here first

[Scripter]

Originally Posted by Lost in Thought

Just toked a bowl, puff the smoke then blow
Fingers take control, dont know what the fuck I wrote
I reread the passage, expected a busted flow at most
Read it aloud and see a crowd of ghosts forever hold thier toast

Another verse on the screen and its me whose writtin it
Take a second to breathe and reach for my vicodin
Take me two or three and wait for the high to kick in
An expesnsive habbit to feed for me to reach enlightenment

Shut off notice hanging with christmas a month away
Waitin to get paid cuz I face stress up the ass.. what a day
Cuss or pray? Cuz every single check stub seems under paid
I hate the wages I make but its twice as much as some have made...

Aint lookin at a half full glass or one thats half empty
I Calculate with math how long it lasts to make sure I have plenty
Cuz no one who's friendly enough to help me has any
Cash to give me so I stretch this shit to my LAST pennies

Bust my ass for this worthless check
get a nervous swet cuz i still havent found my purpose yet
Lookin down is gettin old and it hurts my kneck
but it makes it easy to watch my step as I'm worked to death

12 hours of work after 6 hours of drive time
18 hours to survive life and 6 hours of the times mine
4 hours for Z's and my sleep turns to stressin
A drug addict with work ethics maby one day he'll learn his lesson

High more than sober, so lifes almost over
This knifes gettin closer and the tighter I hold her
Its like I provoked her but she hides behind her composure
This knife is known a 'her' cuz like love it strikes when im most hurt

Blood drips on the carpet, whipe the splatter from the mirror
Blood streaks on my reflection but somehow I see clearer
Death is gettin closer as life is gettin nearer
But its first come first served, hope life is gettin here first

This was a interesting piece. I liked the story and it seemed to flow decently although I feel you could have put more into it. The ending didn't really seem to jive for me, but its your story.