01-09-2014, 07:40 PM | #1 |
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Keep on keeping on(fuck off)
Been on top of this shit with provocative spit, no popular pick
I just dropped as a kid with a prosperous gift to atomic a writ Moved into dominance quick with my monstrous knowledge within Started a chronic assonance kick and constantly taunted the pen Like a hungry piranha chomping competition out of position I'm the Modern Muhammad knockout artist who targets the vicious Charges the bitches and fixes em into admitting submission I'm athletic and Olympic level ready to complete my mission To be the greatest of all time among all musicians and rip them A new asshole when they doubt my conditioning for the audition The audience is applauding my karate even though they the victims I'm a sick dog off of the chain like django and i'm ready to sicc em |
01-09-2014, 07:50 PM | #2 |
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Moved into dominance quick with my monstrous knowledge within
Started a chronic assonance kick and constantly taunted the pen ^dope was pree good for a lil flex. keep it up |
01-09-2014, 08:05 PM | #3 |
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Atomic a writ is a really, really forced rhyme.
Nothing in this drop is unique or interesting and the rhyming isn't good enough to distract the reader from that. All of the ideas are generic. The metaphors and allusions are basic.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
01-09-2014, 08:10 PM | #4 | |
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Quote:
Its not forced. Thanks for your opinion. Bye now. |
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01-09-2014, 08:11 PM | #5 |
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01-09-2014, 08:18 PM | #6 |
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No, it really is forced.
I'm not trolling. This isn't good.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
01-09-2014, 08:35 PM | #7 |
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When he says it's a forced rhyme, he doesn't mean that the sound is forced. It simply doesn't make sense. "Atomic" is not a verb.
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01-09-2014, 09:00 PM | #8 |
............
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I'd suggest instead of droppin' so many verses that are below par just submit a couple every now and then that hopefully by spendin' some time on are considered somewhat decent...no one wants to see 6 pieces of yours on the first page when 99% of them are (in my opinion) bland.
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congrats on the drapes, in denial hes wack lol, wat a lame faggot |
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