QUARTERS: (1)dead man vs. (9)big baby - (DEAD MAN WINS 6-0)

[PancakeBrah]

The Winter Topical
@dead man @big baby

Verse Deadline: 2/2/2014, 11:59 Pacific
Voting Deadline: 2/5/2014, 11:59 Pacific
Line Min/Max: 16/48
Extension/Line Extension by request. Must be agreed to.

Topic


Good luck to both.

[dead man]

alright

[big baby]

check

[dead man]

hey

welcome back, familiar face. the most unlikely of places
coincidence, fate, event without a justification.
a cursory angst of recollection bent into shape
as civilizations strive to imitate the pictures we've taken
to cherish a day, like cherubs in May. do you remember the times?
lakeshore, 1800, cherry pepsi and lime
riding slow, Eldorado. dashboard maple and pine
now its just another shallow introspection of mine..
Obedience: a deity commanding the tides
while scapegoating the rest of us who haven't decided
what to label our crises. our gradual sedation, serene
smile wide. watch our reminiscence fade into screams
drunken under traffic lights on harlem & lake
its been a while, friend. light cigars and embrace
same shake as 7th grade. that's where tradition is shaped
the daily grind is God. horror hidden as faith
in a rat race, a pit of snakes. nativity's rape,
where citizens arrest for reputations at stake
it's like society's a tribal chieftain feathering doves
where compassion and respect are only measured in blood
capillary Capulet, heartache. typical love.
live for now, you're thrown to the wolves. left for the bugs
i left with a shrug, in silence let my cellular buzz
dug a hole large enough for our remembrance to plunge
you've visited once. no, the others haven't been by.
pull up a chair. my, how temporality flies
like family ties. cleaned the closet. now skeletons in my conscience
make MRI results look like excavating a coffin
we were princes and paupers. freelance adventurers often
agitators and defenders both, see: Simpson and Cochran
best friends. all of us. all explorers and rogues
i quit the games. suited up and grew distorted in soul
emotive sorcerers' stone. at times, repression tortures me slow
until unconsciousness is mortal repose, corpses and bone
ghostly remorse. dead or divorced, whether chevy or Porsche
it matters little now. but adolescence is warped
our friendship is brotherhood from an irrelative source
nobody cares anymore. i'll keep my sentences short
retrospection is pure. 20/20 hindsight the visual
whether Deified, literal, or symbolic instead
we grow, prioritize, and sacrifice as a ritual
then recollect a burial for bodies to rest.






i cannot apologize for being.
stay a while, friend
let us speak of resurrection.






DEADMAN

[big baby]

accumulate endorphins. snorkeling in a sea of decomposing
bodies. Neo-Nazi worshippers, surfacing mutilated corpses
don't breathe in the disease-rich oprhans, or think you can absorb it
it seeps the epidermis, a puddle of flowing guts
tunnels of frozen blood, for the second occurrence
resurrection robot ZYG has failed his re-emergence
Set beside, the mist. Of blood that petrifies and drips
Giving life, midst, methyl vinyl rip zygs insecticidal limbs
A dungeon. A cauldron nears, warriors bludgeoned and dark bacteria
Franks body along with Adonis. They're bubbling raw material



A pyre, a funeral. A breathable suit for attire. The vermin
Use pliers to cordon your eyes from your skulls head
Malpractice connoisseur. mustve been awful for pancake to set fire to Certain
Bow out to Monsieur, the
Impressive runes and patterns, mark the walls in this lunas saturn
A pariah for sure. Big Babys the narrator in this gloomy cavern
Its one more organic composition to dump in the abyss
I'm so Vividlyvague. my whole place, attracts butcherman with hunchbacks
One more fucking move, this dilapidated dungeon turns into mosaic for blood splatter



Split 8 got split into 10. His body is spread across the volcano
The way it reassembles and affixes you would think a blotchy tornado
hit the place and came again. Those completely dead didnt have the cadence
to keep up with the semblance obtained to get across the pages.
Sephiroth. A zephyrs gone. Corpses do headstands,
We reincorporate a grim reaper corporation, its cold ether.
to the nether region of our whole creation
Halos weaving, cold cleaving mentor.
We created a tethered needle, a network of the deadest people
where souls escape to deadpan
Now me and the admin hold legs of the deadman

[Lars]

Big Baby – I admire how batshit insane your verses are, you’re arguably the most creative guy in the tournament at this point, and this verse was full of your usual insanity and I enjoyed the attack on the users of the open mic forum or AOWL – but this week it was more hit and miss for me than in previous rounds, and more miss than hit here in all honesty. The rhymes didn’t have your usual wit to them, the imagery of last round wasn’t there which was largely what I felt put you over Zyg if I remember rightly. It seemed like this read as your last hurrah or that you didn’t wish to partake anymore and this was your swan song, a farewell to the writers you respected or just wanted to shout out before you left. I could be wrong, but that’s definitely the vibe this gave off, it’s below par compared to what we all know you’re truly capable of when the mood takes you.

Black Deadman – Great introspective verse from you here, you’re the master when it comes to these little snippets of visual imagery all collected together in a few words at a time that individually don’t amount to much – but piece together almost like a collage what you’re trying to depict.

lakeshore, 1800, cherry pepsi and lime
riding slow, Eldorado. dashboard maple and pine

I liked that a lot, especially the ‘dashboard maple and pine’, it told me as a reader all I needed to know to evoke a mental image without having to make this a paint-by-numbers affair and have it spelt out for me.

‘Capillary Capulet’ was a great way to word it, short and succinct, I liked the alliteration too. I’m glad you took on the ‘explorers’ theme too as I went a similar direction this round, different topic and a different route, but there was a familiarity of the two pieces that I can appreciate you coming up with. Great minds and all that haha!

I don’t know, but for my money I have Deadman winning here. Just more I liked and less I didn’t. Big Baby will make me sad if he’s to leave, though. :(

[NYCSPITZ]

V/ deadman

Was a dope piece for sure, was expecting a story but you used it as allegory for the human condition. Flow and wording was nasty, couldn't really find any parts I didn't like but that's pretty typical with you. Your imagery is standout because not only is it worded crispy but you bring lots of interesting visuals / metas I was never expecting every single time I read your shit. On a deadman scale, I would like this more than 7 or 8 out of every 10 verses you write. Dope man.

Cristian I preferred your style in the first two battles. It was pretty good I just really thought bringing NCGs to the forefront was kind of blah. Expected a lil more creativity from you to be honest but the first stanza was pretty dope. Just wasn't really feeling the rest to be honest man. Maybe other voters will feel different, don't know. I got dead taking this, good battle bros...

[oats]

black: this is the type and caliber of verse I've come to expect from you. it's a steady combination of visuals and clever turns of phrase that follows through with a top notch line. I took it as a comment on the unchanging nature of people and communities, and the effect of blurring past and present imagery solidified that for me. the thread of sacrifice and how it's transformed through time was really thought-provoking and insightful. where are the overlaps between the sacrifice of time and emotions that the work-a-day world today and the very real sacrifice of life of yesteryear? it's an interesting question. in any case, I really enjoyed this.


baby: typically, what I like about your writing is both its aloof grotesqueness and piercing humor. this had both of those in spades. that being said, this verse lacked an undercurrent to compete with the insight presented in black's. It's hard to say how you could've done that with this concept - the appeal, of course, was pandering in nature, even though you didn't mention me so fuck you. As always, the rhymes were elastic and deft, making it more fun to read than just about anyone on this site, but unfortunately, and not surprisingly seeing as how you cooked this up last minute, it lacked the substance to get the vote.


vote: black

[Soulstice]

v- deadMan

dead - my opinion on your lack of imagery fluctuated once i grasped the piece. the juxtaposition of memories fading and philosophical musings took a bit to latch onto but once it did i thought it made the piece more emotive. some dude on his deathbed, with his last remaining friend, lamenting the loss of old times, so lost (illustrated with more than one metaphor "dug a hole deep enough" "reminisce fade into screams") that his other friends "havent been by" really struck a chord. i guess they chose different paths, i wish you would've expanded on the narrators more, or at least alluded, but it didnt affect the quality of the piece, suited up was enough. irrelative source packed a big punch too, really you were able to tie the fading memories together well and they were be able to be placed beyond not-exactly-nonrobotic wording (irrelative) to make it mean more than the sum of its parts well done.

baby - this reminded me of a definitive content verse that might be one of my favorites of all time, so unfortunately for you theres a standard bias coming from this voter. your flow was a little jumpy to me but if you polished it up (or maybe if i had read you more.. probably the former but it should be noted) it would've been awesome, love the resurrection (if you will) of schemes after a few rhymes. the ending was pretty good, after a volcanic display of vicious imagery you leave the ending up to the reader, a fitting metaphor for this battle.

well, black really won on technical writing ability and emotional ability. his fade-in-and-out imagery technique was fitting but babys images conjured were very entertaining. if big baby hadnt been rushed (so i heard) and was able to put some work into this concept it wouldve been a fun battle indeed, but it is fairly onesided to me right now

v - deadman

[Nigma]

Keepin this brief cause I lost a longer breakdown a few days back..

Baby, not gonna preach on your verses shortcomings, you don't need that. Obviously a last minute effort to prevent a no show and thats commendable. Went with the first spiin you could wrap your head around and props for getting something out.

Deadman, you did you. Obscure extended metaphors and subtly deep, you never quite commit to a cut and dry reference, instead giving just enough for the reader to bridge the connection themselves. That is a feat that resonates deeply and fosters memory. Good shit here, would have been made for a hell of a battle had your opponent had more time to write.

+1 Black

[Certain]

I am voting from a phone but won't be able to do this any other time until Tuesday. I apologize for the brevity and any typos.

dead man: This was an outstanding effort. You inverted expectations by taking every element of that phot and breaking into a disciplined examination of relationships. The cadence was outstanding, too. The writing itself never wandered into trite territory and maximized the photo. There were a few loose transitions, but this was excellent.

big baby: I only get one mention? This was creative, but the execution showed the speed at which you wrote it. It wasn't funny enough for its subject matter.

Vote: dead man