April review for netcees.com OM section

[zygote]

April review for www.netcees.co Open Mic section.

Greetings all members, this is a short effort to highlight and review some of the uploads for April. Uploads were chosen for the short review by just a random cross section along with some individually chosen uploads. Again, like the last review it will follow a copy and paste template and just a sample of perhaps 20 or so will be reviewed. The format is; Username: “Title” URL – date.

Cross section of uploads for March/April:

@Illume : “Extramundane Nonmaterial Experiences - Sitting at A Bodhi Tree” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=67871 - 04-24-2014

“Diverted away from his comfort into a furnace of hell.
No fervour, just shells - some hollow humans as well.
He followed the smell – char - like it was cumin incense,
Found a bitumen world in his head, coarse and putrid with stench.”

Short review: Buddhism is an interesting belief system, from the title and first few lines it seemed like it would be a Gautama biography, but it became clear later it was a more generalized account of different Eastern philosophies. There were some parts of awkward language like using the word ‘vegetal.’ There were also moments of excellent writing. E.g., the part when the main character asked a spirit a question and the spirit answered that question with another question. That was just brilliant. The ending was a micro-macro ‘the universe is a brain cell’ kind of thing, which is interesting, but the spirit/character interplay was really good, it would have been good to see complete focus on that. It was a strong area to explore.

@Nigma : “Exodus” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=67875 - 04-25-2014

“I'm hard as a motherfucker, think you're in style?
Only time that May HAM is during cinco de mayo
Theres ink in my vial, there’s meth inside his shrinking pores
So although I'm only 5'11, standing next to him I feel so large,”
Short review: This was a battle rap directed at a specific opponent, called Mayhem/Xces, to give some background information around 6 months prior to joining netcees.com (version 1), amongst others Nigma was on a different website with the same function. If you read this upload by Nigma you will see a display of the battle rap style that was dominant on that website, it is quite different from this websites. There is more emphasis on rhyming, and creating interesting so-called ‘statements’ and less on homophone puns.

@CopyPat : “Rapping like Everyone else to make them all Proud” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=66065 - 03-23-2014

“I’m Mark Wahlberg in Rock Star, tanked. Got the pop chart ranks, drinking Carlsberg, eating Salisbury steak. I’m not sober in a cop car, thanks to getting caught stealing some lawn darts from when I knocked over a Wal-Mart prank. I’m a lawn dart beast, with a long hard D. Eatin ballpark franks with the all-star team. I'm a ballpark fiend with a tall dark penis, chillin with the Wal-Mart greeters and we all spark cheeba. Got the All-Spark gene from transformers in my jeans.”

Short review: Very humorous, creating the boasting persona, just keeping on pushing the different ways of describing self-glorification in more extreme/over the top ways. Also, recommending this one for a strong rhyming, look out for the “contortionist machine” rhyme scheme it is technically impressive.

@Mitch : “Semi Current Samurai Omnivore Sensai Dynamic Sun Emmiter” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=67356 - 04-22-2014

“Over on that opus, opalescent pearl hoarding banks dangle under the sun flare show, sangre.
Son there are only so many corridors to hide the centaurs. Thank the sun for your shine, thank the brick for the shadow, thank the sea for your shackles, thank the land for your stance, shake my hand and set soar for second shore, sand.”

Short review: Another kind of abstract multiple rhyme emphasis, Mitch is creating a nice niche, it is often interesting to read it. Giving a recommendation for anyone to give a comment for Mitch on any of recent uploads, they are all good.

@Le Wise Ways : “Short and Sweet” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=68268 - 04-27-2014

“And I've never been so close to death
This the list of Don'ts.. Regrets..
It's cool to love, just don't obsess
Go caress.. Poke the flesh.
Post reply for the too dope for text's”

Short review: This one seemed like a fast write up, there is another one from the same user that was nominated for the HOF, recommending both of them as good to read. You will enjoy the other and this one as a kind of a companion.

@Objective : “.:: DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE... ::.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=66225 - 04-17-2014

“... she said in a serious voice,
possessing motherly love that embarrass her boys.
It’s apparent she knows what her offspring enjoys,
did I mention our chimney spoke the fate to all of my toys?”

Short review: This is part of a longer series of uploads, they are all connected by the similar title with the punctuation. It was quite good, some commentators didn’t enjoy it, but you will also see a comment from Objective giving a greater insight.

@Mr. J “Por Que?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=68241 - 04-26-2014

“Come fuck with a visionary, don't let the truth remain hidden and buried
I'm living with the wary, the skirmish left me workin' harder than any contemporary...
come quipped with vocabulary, ride hard because the top whipped with a cherry
sitting in canaries, singing to the same old blues shit, none of this new shit”

Short review: Focused on creating an aggressive statement here and there. Some decent rhyming and interesting words. There’s not much to comment on, other than it was written efficiently and it was effective.

@Destroyer : “paragraph president” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=64766 - 04-10-2014

“im totally mad, rollin up blunts with torn grocery bags while I'm sposed to be back, stocking up cans. it won't make me feel bad to hit u, skinny black u with jujitsu, i cop my weed sacks where they make me buy five bags of chips too. it's right to fear me when u hear this, i'm runnin through u like the beer shits, & i'll make u look irrelevant like giant-chinned black conspiracy theorists.”

Short review: Perhaps, the first of a the paragraph parodies during April. There were many paragraph formats, and this one was a first in noting it. There was some inside jokes directed towards the netcees.com users. If you enjoy those kind of jokes there will be something for you here. If you do not understand the references you will still enjoy the good display of rhyming and humorous statements.

@Badi Alii : “Audio - acid rain spickets” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=64800 - 04-10-2014

“Tally me the casualty for dippin out reality
Spit immoral fallacies, it really wouldn't scatter me
Dip their minds in batteries and they'll outsmart catastrophe
I'm mastering these happenings like rappin beats”

Short review: There was a focus on short lines and the so-called ‘flow.’ To understand the focus you can navigate the hyperlink to listen on the soundcloud.com while you read.

@YDK : “my story” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=65465 - 04-13-2014

“I wish i woulda known what was expected of me
i was protected and free till i neglected to see
that i was only coping because hope had agreed.
My mother passed away i fell down on both knees;”

Short review: This seems to be one of YDK’s stock deliveries. The autobiographical vent, drawing on memories and those memories connection to emotions. Not all will enjoy this, but for some you may enjoy it.

@Genocide : “Bare.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=62399 – 03-30-2014

“inferno of rage, flames, internal decay, thanks
caused by the conviction of every word that you say, great
vertical range, eyes turn into space, insecurities, weight
social anxiety, the wall between your personal space”

Short review : Genocide’s uploads are much less frequent than they have been in the past. So it is always a nice to see a new one. This one was stylistically similar to the ‘dead man’ style, but Genocide uses a lot less jargon-istic words, it’s more a focus on the internal thought process rather than big objective statements.

@dead man : “DEAD MAN -- Mandala” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=66527 - 04-18-2014

“I've been waiting here. anxiously. pacing the floors
boards creak beneath the weight of remorse
i was dying as a baby was born, stillborn. maybe it's fate
save or abort, shaken awake for an oasis to snort”

Short review: Apparently, there is also a different type of Mandala, called a sand Mandala that this writing was based on. The sand Mandala is a type of ritual art. The ritual involves the creation of these sand Mandala’s and then their immediate destruction afterwards. The process of creation and destruction is the ritual itself rather than the actual object. There is a nice thematic connection drawn between the relationship as a process rather than an object and the sand Mandala. Recommending this one.

@The Mind Assassin : “YOUR 7TH UNIVERSE....” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=67070 - 04-21-2014

“So…
Water is wet? Not to a fish. The father of debt’s mom was the wish,
of doubting Tom, now aplomb yet remiss.
Like how Judas betrayed with a kiss, is modern man’s mind swayed by a snitch,
or melee’d because the Good Sam’s waylaid in a ditch?”

Short review: One of the moist overlooked and under commented uploads in April. This is VERITAS perhaps second or third best upload on this website, (only RAWN imagination land, and the one contest against deadman can seriously contend). There was strong rhyming as well as interesting content, sometimes it becomes too abstract and obtuse, but here was a perfect blend that had the balance just right. Giving this one double thumbs up and a HOF nomination.

@Neighbor : “Ric Flair” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=68278 - 04-27-2014

“This a cutthroat symphony; gun smoke & infamy. Rip your guts open, literally... I keep the pump holstered religiously. Love don't exist to me; a young soldier's blood oath epiphany. My lungs hold slugs that unload limitlessly w/ snubnose trajectory. While you couldn't afford a shot glass, I'm pourin cognac w/ foreign contacts in Beijing. It's mortal combat, my blade swing & your fuckin corpse'll frog splash the HD.”

Short review: One of my favorites from April. Neighbor does not upload often, but each is something great. Probably the best display of rhyming schemes on the website. Also, managing to create aggressive insults and self-glorifying statements that are creative. Also recommending all to read this one. It is quite short and every sentence is something interesting.

@Frank : “Cherry - Starring In "K2" 2014, episode 1” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=68282 – 04-27-2014

“Cherry red blunts, illuminate the private lane of the dark alleyway like lasers ricocheting on turf.
Cause after a long day of work - me and my coworkers get into cipher circles rotating the earth.
Rachel says famously to Kurt:
"Ay you jerk...WTF's is we smoking?!!!" coughing crazy berserk
Looking up at the sky - as she lay in the dirt.”

Short review: A discussion of synthetic cannabis, the unknown health effects were addressed, and there are some other interesting aspects as well like they are often sold in those hippie ‘legal-high’ shops as incense, and the fact that governments cannot regulate compounds faster than new different compounds of the synthetic cannabis can be made. The focus in this one was more of an individual story rather than any of these meta-issues, which works effectively with such a descriptive style.

@Split Eight : “scraps” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=67948 - 04-25-2014

“Existentialist confused for absurd-- if you're quoting my quotes wrong.
If that sentence fit you- observe when you're phoning, my phone's off.
I'm Albert Camus prescribed these Klonopin blues.
The ghost of Godot has arrive as the impossible looms.”

Short review: The first half was greater than the second half, it is a comment on a philosophy that is very great. Would have been excellent to read more about absurdism rather than all the netcees username references, a more concerted effort could be something refreshing. The style was nice here, and some moments of good rhymes, interspersed with more of a free-verse style. It is apparent that it was not all written in one go, some different sections seem disjointed, but all in all the first 5-6 lines were great and the rest was good too.

@Vividlyvague : “"It's all pink on the inside, f×ck what color they face is!" Vividlyvague//Just Write” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=66765 - 04-19-2014

“"Put it in my ass..." She said, as if it was normal dialogue.
"Say what?!" My eyes widen with a quiet wrong
Inside. All the while, my loins writhe along
In wait of this sneaking adventure I am on.”

Short review: A good collaborative effort by two of the most consistent contributors to OM section, they aren't the most frequent, but each has their own distinctive style. Which is interesting considering in this collaboration it was difficult to distinguish between the individual sections. It means that both did well to gel their efforts into a cohesive whole. Also, there is an excellent analysis by the dead man in the comments section.

Additional Section: Randomized Archive

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6412

The randomized archive brings us this interesting stylistic and aesthetic format, a good visual style, using the different formatting options to create a display in the shape of the USA flag.

Ending comment/Overall review.

Good stuff to all, April is finished and now begins May. There was an excess of riches this past month, the randomized nature of the reviews meant that many good uploads were not in here. It’s recommended if you find the time here to go beyond the first page, look for ones with only one or two comments or a new user. You may be nicely surprised. All the best.

[oats]

thanks as always, zyg. good shit

[Fig]

Dopeeeeee

[Ghost1]

Did u tqlk qbout me in last months review?

[dead man]

awesome and accurate summation of the last month. theres always a few posts ive missed that your review allows me to double back and check out.

glory be to ZYG

[e11even]

Awesome review Zyg. Glad to be part of this again. Great work.

[veritas]

Props bro. Thanks alot for the feed

[Illume]

Always nice to be in here, Zyg, and another collection of great analyses.

Tnx.

[big baby]

WEAK LIKE EVERYHTING ELSE U UPLOAD

[Bodey]

Appreciate the mention

[King Ra.]

Salute, good sir.

[Destroyer]

good shit bro

[Frank]

Good shit kid

[Certain]

Originally Posted by big baby

WEAK LIKE EVERYHTING ELSE U UPLOAD

[Geno]

if i failed to comment earlier. thanks for the reviews, your my hero @zyg.

[Objective]

Cool shit as always!