06-19-2014, 04:20 AM | #1 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247256 |
What is it to live?
My aunt is on life support. My significant ex gets child support.
In high school I was the dork. I long for quiet nights with pork, Feeding alcoholism and piping storks. I call em storks cuz they swallow. Probably why I'm divorced. Lol. There's a hashtag for all my thoughts... i require a cork. I need to shut it all up. Shut it down. Silence- for short. So I'm the strong silent type. An assumption by the finest of sorts. So I get no play. I never did. I've rarely lived. I've rarely taken. And those I helped never give. Fuck them cuz I'm me. Reinvented. Viv's libbed. Liberated. Grown. Grown down. Opinionated. I don't forgive. I dwell on past conquests not conquered. I shrivel. I shrink inside my psyche knowing I'm tiny. Fine. Little. Fuck me. I'm little! This is changing today! Baller, no dribble... make it rain, no drizzle. Take the brain... she'll forgive you. Muay thai train, Jiu jitsu... mma and submit who Opposes Viv! You that nig! You get you! No new friends... Drake said it. Go get you Some fuckin bad ass points. Jump out a plane! Big booty for ur birthday- 2 chainz! Cook up and hustle that souffle! Have that threesome with your boo's neighbors! You deserve that shit. You grew up Bobby Bouche! Do it for your aunt on life support... live under a new name! Cuz YOLO only matters if you've lived. I'm reincarnated.
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Ahem. |
06-19-2014, 07:39 AM | #2 |
Kill.It.Nonstop
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 666
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 662198 |
this seemed a lot more abstract then other text pieces I've checked out on here...But i'm still diggin' what you did..
different style in general with how it's structured also stand out lines for me I need to shut it all up. Shut it down. Silence- for short. So I'm the strong silent type. An assumption by the finest of sorts. Like how you connected that Good shit right here HoLLa |
06-22-2014, 04:56 PM | #3 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,104
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079719 |
Somehow I missed this until now. The first half of this was probably the strongest writing I've seen from you in awhile. Truthful and poignant. The second half was cool, but it felt a little rushed to me. Wasn't as powerful as the first half. Cool stuff Vag.
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06-26-2014, 04:52 AM | #4 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247256 |
thanks guys :)
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Ahem. |
06-26-2014, 11:57 AM | #5 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 145
Rep Power: 671777 |
Quote:
You should try to reimagine this and go a bit further with your introspections. You could write those last twelve lines with the same message but with a bit less bravado and more deep observations. Last edited by Illume; 06-26-2014 at 12:03 PM. |
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06-26-2014, 09:26 PM | #6 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247256 |
That was awesome feed! Thank you. I'll rtf next time you pop up in the OM.
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