Week 4 1-2 Punch Weekly Magazine by Meth (8/9/14)

[Meth]

Introduction
It's been awhile since I've written one of these. But it feels good to be back, it feels good to be home. I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I never intended on coming back to this place. But then again, who does. I'm back now, at least for a while. We'll see how long I can hold on this time. One thing's definitely for sure, I will finish out this season for you guys. Anyway, the first week I headed the league was... Decent. There were some no shows of course. Surprisingly not a lot of faggotry (not including any of Doug Funny's punches in said statement) occurred this week. But hey, it is the early seasons of a very much secondary Netcees league. Hopefully, this week, and season will be very competitive, so I'll just shut up and continue on with things.

Battle Reviews

Jilti vs. Doug Funny

This was an entertaining battle, mostly because everyone's always interested in seeing what weird shit Doug's gonna say next about his online sparring partners. But seriously his bar was gay. Jilti came with a cool punch and a solid wordplay on doug's name. The way he worded could have been more aggressive, but that's just one guys opinion. Either way, Jilti won this one quite easily.

Roar vs. Blanco Bishop

Blanco came with an attempted nameplay that probably didn't hit as much as he would have liked it too. The way he worded it, as well as "roarin' engine" not being the most commonly used phrase ever really hurt his bar's chances. Roar came back at him with a reference to a gentlemanly's game of afternoon chess. He had a nice, clean solid set up that hit very well, and he came away with a pretty easy victory.

Adonis vs. Greed

This was an ok battle. Adonis entered with a Paul George punch that could have and probably should have been much better. What he ended up with was very statementy and not very hard hitting in my opinion. Greed went with a set in stone/statue of limitations play that was pretty decent. Not the hardest hitting bar, but it was good enough to get him to victory lane in this one.

Swerve vs. Broke Lesnar

In what was, quite clearly the best battle of Week 3, two of NC's wiley old veterans went toe to toe, hoping to get the 1st round knock out. However, this one ended up going to the judges, and Swerve won by the decision. Broke went with a very straight to the point bar using his last Summer Classic verse to try to land a win against Pat. Swerve went with the old fashioned punch that included calling Bags and Des faggots. One could say those are some of the most entertaining punches.

Windu Tuako vs. YDK

To be real with you I didn't get windu's bar. And if i have to look up your punch, you've mostly already lost in my book. YDK came with a very simple and witty fart joke. Yes. A fart joke.

Camp Bell vs. Destroyer

So, in what was basically a contendership match with out that specific title, we had Destroyer up against the one and only Camp Bell. Camp went with a George Jetson punch that also used a play on the very middle of Des' name I guess? Not the most effective idea. Destroyer went with the extremely simple CB name play, but it was worded well and aggressivly so it was able to easily rack up the win for him in this battle.

Top 3 Punches of the Week

3. by Jilti

dump his body so deep under ocean, Navy subs couldnt reach Doug yet
they'll need government grants and a Marine Research just to Sea Funded

2. by BROKE LESNAR

said ur birthday was a smash success to deceive ur peers
cuz my verse for Tic Tac in SC VI had more sex than u seen in years

1. by Swerve

Only faggots try in text these days, say you don’t to enhance lies,
So it’s no surprise the only people to go for Broke…are 40 year old men and fat guys.

Previews

Championship Match: Destroyer vs. Swerve


This one should definitely be good. These are 2 of NC's vets, they've both champed leagues and both won tourneys. However, Destroyer does have the advantage of actually champing the 1-2 league. Swerve is obviously no slouch, and he'll bring it. Unless he doesn't, and no shows, which is completely possible for both competitors actually. Regardless, I think Destroyer's style fits a little bit better for 1-2 than Swerve's does, so I'm leaning him.

Contendership Match: KnowP vs. Roar


Ugh, this should also be good I guess. Roar has 13 posts on netcees, but after swiftly sweeping his last 2 opponents I guess we should take him seriously. KnowP is one of those guys that seems like he's been here for ever, even though he hasn't. He doesn't show up in discussion very often. He just checks in, submits his battle, and says props to his opponent afterwards. Definitely not a bad thing at all. Anyway, this one I would have to give the edge to KnowP, mostly for the fact that I've seen more than a couple of lines from him.

Broke Lesnar vs. YDK

Should be another cool battle. Broke is definitely one of the guys to watch to champ this league at any moment. YDK however is a little bit different. He is obvioulsy a good writer, but has never really stepped into the realm of battling that much, and been successful. But here is his chance, this would be a huge upset if he could beat Broke. Although, it would be a huge upset if he did. So, I'm going Broke.

Jilti vs. Meth

I've only known Jilti for the same amount of time as me returning has lasted. Never seen him before now. From the small amount of lines I've read, it's easy to say he has potential. But that's about all I know from the guy. Good luck, bro.

K Huntsman vs. Defiant


Haven't seen Def post in a minute or 20. He's one of those guys who always has the ability to knock 'em out of the park, and this may be the best venue to do it. He always has cool concepts. I don't know who K Huntsman is, so for mostly that fact, I gotta predict Diso.

Vividlyvague vs. Camp Bell

I don't know much about either of these guys. Camp Bell I've seen for awhile, he's always been around. He definitely has the ability to put together a solid punch but is always missing that little something. Me not knowing or reading pretty much anything ever from his opponent has me standing behind Camp Bell

Split vs. Tragic

Split isn't a battler. He's a thinker. And that's ok. Because I'm betting on him thinking of a dope punch for his match up this week. Tragic, I either don't know or forgot about so, I got Split getting the win here.

Greed vs. Blanco Bishop

Blanco is known for his very long winded set ups and stretched bars. If he can address that and improve on them he can definitely be a solid competitor in this league. Greed has been around for what seems like forever, and can put together a solid punch at any time. He made the quarter finals of last year's 1-2 playoffs before being eliminated by yours truly, so he's capable of making a run at something. Therefore, I'm giving Greed the edge.


Doug Funny vs. King Ra

Having only seen gay bars from Doug, I must predict Ra. barring a no show... So basically I'm picking Doug. (Just fucking with you Ra., but it is kind of warranted lol)

Power Rankings

5. Roar
4. KnowP
3. Broke Lesnar
2. Destroyer
1. Swerve

Outro

Well. That's all I have. Sorry for the rushed magazine, but it's really all I had time for. Next week's will surely have something like an interview or a Q&A as long as I have the time. I'll be sure to continue to put a weekly magazine up, so hopefully that will keep you guys motivated. Stay strong and Post dope... See ya.

[Meth]

@Destroyer @Swerve @KnowP @Roar @BROKE LESNAR @YDK @jilti @K Huntsman @Defiant @Vividlyvague @Camp Bell @Split @tragic @Greed @Blanco Bishop @Doug Funny @King Ra.

[BROKE LESNAR]

Thanks for the mag, bud.

[Blanco Bishop]

Great mag.

Solid reviews. Honest predictions.


Lets go!

[YDK]

Dope

[Camp Bell]

dope and thanks for the nod bro.

[Destroyer]

just curious how you predicted I'd win, but then placed swerve above me in rankings

[Swerve]

@Destroyer Probably cause you had a 2 letter nameplay punch....

[Meth]

Because I did the mag in 30 minutes at 1 am is the answer to that question Des.

[KnowP]

Good stuff pimp. Hit me up if you want help next time.

[Meth]

No doubt.