03-09-2016, 09:50 AM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,709
Battle Record: 9-12
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The City of Drugs
Give me a minute, ...i'll show you an emotionless void Childhood antics; minus oceans of toys Where hopes are destroyed & death statistics are up Welcome to my home, we call it, "The City of Drugs" Alchemy plus a little chemical skills To let your ventricles feel, either the liquid or pills. Experience Intimate chills of a syringe penetrating your skin Releasing all basic functions til you're complacent within. suitcases full of quaaludes, some xannys & percs And a .357 revolver in case our enemies lurk. Methamphetamine urge? We have just what you need But be warned, the higher the demand.. the higher the fees It's not that we're greedy, we're businessmen, minus the suits & our product's are top notch. We white glove our vials & tubes. In other words, We stand by our merchandise supplying only the best So whether you're feeling lonely, or in a mode of regret... We have just what you need to help you cope with the stress So tell us your goals, to either control or supress Cause from weed to coke, or just some E to roll.. We'll fill in that role, so give us a test Sure addiction's a bitch and kills a limited few But it brings home the bacon.. & nobody cares about an addict, especially if the addict is you.
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03-10-2016, 03:06 PM | #2 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,028
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
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I really enjoyed the start of this verse & the eventual build up to the picture reference
your word choice fits well into the following lines that you choose I felt towards the end you started to lose focus though. otherwise this was pretty cool the middle section was the strongest point of the piece for me & made me say awww but towards the end with the weed & roll it felt like you tried to stick to the subject too much after methamphetamine urge I was like yea this is nice...it just felt redundant to go back to the list of things again... nice work though...keep writing
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03-10-2016, 04:55 PM | #3 | |
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 27
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