11-22-2020, 08:59 PM | #1 |
Spoiled brat
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WEEK 8: Scout 3-0 VS Ajax 3-1 CONTENDER MATCH AJAX WINS
Welcome to the NBL
Rules Line limit Minimum: 10 Maximum: 16 Verses due 11:59pm EST November 28, 2020 (Saturday) Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE Good luck, gentlemen |
11-23-2020, 10:53 AM | #3 |
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I’m here. 16 works. Good luck.
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11-23-2020, 10:22 PM | #4 | |||
Jeice! Who's that?
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too... My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you. It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy.... The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body. Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky... Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime. Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken; I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid. I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all.... This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls. Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest... Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen. Seems suddenly you're scared to face this? Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation. Last edited by Scout; 11-28-2020 at 02:11 PM. |
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11-28-2020, 10:57 PM | #6 |
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Man. 100 edits.... You got fuckin’ issues.
We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health… I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself. You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing… Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing. No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke… My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked. Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate... While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik. Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen… Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in. I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story… Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’ I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant... You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment. Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously. She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy. Peace. Get help, brother. You need it.
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11-28-2020, 11:23 PM | #7 |
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Scout
Opener was basic. Way too cookie cutter Single quotation was solid Delicate remains was dope Anderson Silva bar was blah Mid Covid was cool but was similar to delicate remains Hokey stalls nah User line eh Closer was average Solid verse. Actually liked this better than your last one. Couple dope bars. Ajax Opener is swag Refreshing bar is dope reminds me of something I would write Overdrive nah Bolshevik over my head sorry bro Latest achievement is jokessss Uncharted territory was okay 13 amendment was cool Closer would have been dope but saw a better JFK flip a couple weeks ago Very nice verse. Vintage Ajax. Nothing missed horribly. Very consistent. Both you guys did well but Ajax gets this one. Fewer misses and more consistent. Vote Ajax |
11-29-2020, 05:14 AM | #8 |
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Delicate matter
Counter measures Refreshing Peaking Bolshevik is a maybe but revolting been flipped a lot Close battle both had some random concepts that seemed a bit of a force. Scout a few of yours just didn’t work to me like ‘one sided affair’ I’m edging with Ajax here for consistency
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11-29-2020, 01:59 PM | #9 |
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Scout
Bitch STFU! Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game Meh I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too... My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you. Above avg It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy.... The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body. With more effort in the setup this would be fire. Punch is nice though Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky... Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime. Ehhhh Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken; I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid. Clever I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all.... This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls. This is ok, set up seems lazy though Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest... Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen. Ok Seems suddenly you're scared to face this? Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation. Wtf Decent verse. I'd mix the style up more, every punch started feeling very similar about halfway through to the end, especially with the quotes. Improving your setups, whether through wit or rhyme would go a long way too. Covid was tight. 7/10 VS Ajax We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health… I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself. You referring to his verse he just dropped or some discord/other personal shit? If the former, this is aight, if the latter, this don't resonate You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing… Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing. Lol No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke… My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked. Wasn't feelin it Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate... While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik. Had to look that up & use context clues, clever. Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen… Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in. A bit basic I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story… Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’ Cool I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant... You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment. I see what you were tryna do, but, it feels off cuz it already passed, yet the bar is written in future tense. This needed rewording, concept was straight Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously. She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy. Conceptually ehhh, not much of a diss Definitely highs and lows, but refreshing ,Bolshevik & peaking were cool. A few others either had the concepts but missed the execution, or vice versa. 7/10 It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy.... The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body. Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken; I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid. VS Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate... While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik. I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story… Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’ Either peaking or covid LOTB. Then... Refreshing = Quotation > counter measure > 13th = affair Close battle. Quotables tied. I'd say Ajax was slightly more clever conceptually, Scout had better slightly better wordplay. Ultimately, I have Scout with one less miss although that closer almost singlehandedly lost it for him. Vote: Scout |
11-29-2020, 03:05 PM | #10 | ||
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Quote:
Close: centipede You slipped some cool bars in the middle but it trailed off to me at both ends. nice verse overall. Quote:
Close: poetic license, bolshevik, 13th ammendment, JFK conspiracy Not sure what happened this week, I usually don't read this many lines as misses from you. Verse started a little slow and you didn't have many punches that stood out to me as executed, though you did pick some cool concepts. Vote: Scout both dudes are nice writers but i think Scout did enough to take this. |
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11-29-2020, 08:28 PM | #11 |
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Vote - Ajax
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11-30-2020, 11:05 AM | #12 |
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Scout -
Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game ok, more simplified than my preference. 6/10 I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too... My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you. the wording toward the beginning of the bar could've been better, but cool idea. 7/10 It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy.... The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body. this is solid, but calling him delicate just kind of takes the edge off the bar. 7/10 Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky... Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime. i like this, wording couldve been a little stronger but dope/original idea. blue does have a point about the scenario, but still 9/10 Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken; I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid. nah not really feeling this, just feels like rehashed old concepts. 7/10 I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all.... This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls. holey stalls is a weird phrasing, the idea is there but it missed for me. 7/10 Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest... Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen. idea is a bit dated but the flip is good. 8/10 Seems suddenly you're scared to face this? Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation. not feeling this 6/10 ------------------------- Ajax - We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health… I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself. not digging it, 6/10 You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing… Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing. i like this, and its a solid personal tie-in 9/10 No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke… My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked. the connection between these ideas feels too weak but wording's clean 7/10 Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate... While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik. wording toward throughout the set-up couldve been better but i like this 9/10 Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen… Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in. nah this felt like filler 6/10 I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story… Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’ i like the general idea, but the execution/wording fell flat 7/10 I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant... You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment. nah the connection here doesn't make any sense. the 13th amendment doesnt give anyone a right to speak. they were slaves, not mimes. The man possessed idea has legs but you could've done more with it 6/10 Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously. She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy. execution couldve been better and ive seen the idea done a lot, and this didn't really put a new spin on it 7/10 ajax - 57/80 scout - 57/80 v/ tie because it doesnt matter |
11-30-2020, 05:54 PM | #13 |
Spoiled brat
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Need more votes here
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11-30-2020, 09:09 PM | #14 |
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I need more votes here
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11-30-2020, 09:21 PM | #15 |
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Ajax won that scout wordplay was line of the battle
Scout was way too predictable and formulaic Every line was literally the same style of delivery I don’t like that Ajax had lotb and literally the only line here I liked
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barc is scout, discord unite, scout is barc, zuch ruined it |
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