01-31-2022, 03:13 PM | #1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
He / Him / His
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Omicron Magazine: Round 3
Ah, the Text Battle Magazine. A time honored tradition among this toxic community as old as bragging about your sexual conquests while simultaneously spending large chunks of your salary to pay women to have sex with you. Before we begin talking about round 3, let's recap round 2. Surprisingly, the battles in Round 2 were not nearly as closely contested as many of those in round 1. Every team that advanced in round 2 won their match by a margin of at least 5 phoned in votes. That being said, all the teams showed up this week and put on great performances with no noshows or dq bullshit involved.
ROUND 2 CYPHER HIGHLIGHTS Best performance: Resin Inf came out with some bangers, I can't objectively rate myself, and universe was... well.. universe. But what stood out most to me was Resin popping out of the woodworks to drop a consistently dope 16, especially when he was a noshow for his battle in round 1. Here are just a few highlights Quote:
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------------------------------------------------ 1. Stamps vs 7. Bars This one started out somewhat controversially with lars throwing a fit and demanding a freebie win over his opponents when they asked for an extension. I have no fucking clue what hobbit hole full of curry barcotic crawled into the last week or 2, but he seems to be AWOL. Surprisingly didn't make a peep at all this week. In Lars defense, Stamps had over a week to write 12 lines between two people. That's 6 lines in 7 days. You can write one set-up line and a punch every 2 days and make the deadline with no issue whatsoever. But this is Netcees, and it's been pretty standard for people to ask for extensions on literally every battle in existence over the last 10 years here, which really makes you wonder what the fuck the point of a due date is. This battle came off closer than the votes showed in my opinion. Lars/Barc had some higher highs and lower lows in my opinion. Zuch/Blue did what they do best and that's maintain consistency and make sure they don't make any missteps. Ultimately the voters felt consistency won out and Blue/Zuch advance to the semis. Quote:
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------------------------------------------------ 2. Advanced Placement vs 8. cum boyz I have a bias in this, but for me this matchup was the best the battle of the round. Both teams came with 20 lines, and there were dope bars from each side. I don't really have much else to say about the battle. It was a great all around match-up and the voters unanimously favored Advanced Placement who will move on to round 3 and have put themselves in good position to win their second tag team tournament together. Quote:
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------------------------------------------------ 3. FatGingerZ vs 4. Blue Chews for Jaden This battle sort of flew under the radar for me. Maybe Frac's performance suffered after spiraling out over relationship trauma with a girl his daughter's age, or maybe seth just paid off his voting ring to rig this one. Personally, I felt like I was leaning more toward a frac/des victory with this one, but the voters disagreed wholeheartedly. Solid showing from both sides, but the gingers won this decisively via 5 - 0. Quote:
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------------------------------------------------ 10. SMACK vs (N/A) JaysonFresh/evaD In this battle, the wild card entrants and only two fuckboys who haven't selected a team name yet square off against SMACK, who attempted to redeem themselves after their round 1 loss. Unfortunately, they didn't do enough to take the W. I personally felt that SMACK put on a stronger showing in round 1, and if they had come with that same level of intensity, they might've made this close. However, Fresh and evaD don't let out nearly as many personals about themselves as Seth and the other discord bros, so that may have been hard to do. Fresh/evaD put together a really solid verse and ran away with this one fairly decisively, both according to the voter count, and my own personal opinion. Quote:
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THROWBACK BATTLE Cracker barrel rape dragons vs 7. Bars Quote:
Fresh/evaD are coming off respectable wins in rounds 1 and 2. Since there are only 4 teams remaining, they move up in the power rankings, but I would argue that that they didn't have to try too hard to beat their opponents in week 2, and the likes of Stamps/Advanced Placement/FatGingerZ all saw stronger competition in round 2, so Fresh and evaD still have more to prove if they're going to move up in the power rankings. Still, I feel like this team is definitely a dark horse in the race that's completely capable of pulling off an upset and winning it all if they bring their A game. As mentioned in my round 2 recap, I'm not entirely sure that I'm convinced that Frac/Des shouldn't be sitting in this spot in round 3. I can't really think of a good argument for why this team should be ranked higher than Stamps or Advanced Placement, nor an argument for why they should be ranked lower than fresh/evaD, so they sort of fall into this middle tier spot. It'll be up to the gingerz to take on the #1 seeded team and pull off the upset, which I think is entirely possibly if they come focused. If they manage to best Zuch/Blue I think it will be due to personals. That approach might work for Zuch/Blue, but I think they'll have a tougher time trying to get past Aero/Dom with that strategy. Dom doesn't really have that many personals to list, so a lot of the focus would need to be on Aero at that point. I have a tough time beating Stamps and Advanced Placement back to back, but time will tell. Stamps put on a stronger showing in round 2 than round 1 in my opinion, but it still fell on zuch to rush a last minute verse before the deadline. While it's not fully confirmed, it appears that this ended up being a handicapped match between Blue/Zuch vs Lars, which is a considerably less impressive victory than beating both Lars/Barcotic. Especially considering Barcotic is considered more of a text battle veteran. Still, they've done what they do best and that's remain consistent. You'll never see a bad bar out of either of these two, but they're gonna need to step it up in round 3 if they want to get past User/Seth, who likely have personals loaded and waiting. Aero/Dom moved up into the #1 spot of the power rankings from #2 last week, and their round 2 performance showed exactly why. Easily the verse of the week in my opinion, and between their current streak and history of having won in tag team competition before in the past, this is really the team that everyone needs to be figuring out how to beat right now. ROUND 3 UPDATED BRACKET: ROUND 3 PREDICTIONS: 1. Stamps vs 3. FatGingerZ I've already stated that I think the key to the gingerz pulling of a win in this battle is to take the personal route. These 4 all know each other pretty well, and they've got plenty of ammunition to use on each other. Seth is known for fighting as dirty as he can, and User can round out seth's aggressive approach with more typical haymakers. Zuch didn't seem fully committed to battling Lars/Barc last week, and considering how much he hates barc and wanted that battle, I have a harder time seeing him committing to tearing up User/Seth in the same way. We're at the point in the tournament where any team can win on any given sunday, so there's really not guarantees for how this battle is going to play out. Still, I've got to give the edge to Blue/Zuch here because these are both people who have shown time and time again in the past that they know how to get themselves into the finals of a championship. Prediction: Stamps 60/40 2. Advanced Placement vs (N/A) JaysonFresh/evaD Advanced Placement has been on a roll in my opinion and I don't see them losing momentum any time soon. That being said, JaysonFresh and evaD are both incredibly talented writers and both of them are capable of contending on a top tier level. I think if Dom/Aero get too complacent after last week's win and sleep on their opponents, they're gonna end up taking this loss unexpectedly. Aero knows what Fresh and evaD can bring, but Dom might not be as familiar, and I can definitely imagine him taking this battle more lightly than he should. I think if both teams come at 100%, this could be a classic and the battle of the round. If either team slacks, then they'll probably be the one's heading home. Either way, I've got to go with Dom/Aero here who have been on a tear. Prediction: Advanced Placement 60/40 Last edited by Answer; 01-31-2022 at 03:27 PM. |
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01-31-2022, 03:29 PM | #2 |
Tread Lightly.
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<3
Thank you for doing this. Joe Jackson line was hilarious btw.
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01-31-2022, 03:39 PM | #3 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
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dope
i was in two minds about using huge dong tbc as I wasn’t sure how well it would go down in text but I’m glad I did got something power ranked above something by Frac, I’ll take that
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01-31-2022, 04:31 PM | #4 | |
(ง'̀-'́)ง
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Whoever ranked punches has questionable taste
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01-31-2022, 05:15 PM | #5 |
He / Him / His
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01-31-2022, 05:31 PM | #7 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
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DavesonFresh
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01-31-2022, 07:20 PM | #8 |
GOAT
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Thanks for doing this Answer. No mag No Aero so this is clutch. I didn't like the Joe Jackson line until I reread it just now, dope. Fresh and evaD are tricky opponents bc you don't know what they're going to bring but should be a fun read on both sides.
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01-31-2022, 09:47 PM | #9 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
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DESTROYED at the Aero pic in the power rankings hahaha
Good shit Answer Pretty good round 2
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02-02-2022, 08:56 AM | #10 |
Sell Her
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dope mag
Last edited by Candy; 02-02-2022 at 11:08 AM. |
02-03-2022, 08:22 PM | #11 |
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niiice.. thanks for the mention, gonna drop votes this rd
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02-08-2022, 02:05 PM | #12 |
He / Him / His
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02-09-2022, 08:24 AM | #13 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
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just went to vote on Stamps/Gingers but it’s closed I guess
will vote now on other battle
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