06-12-2022, 03:38 PM | #1 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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WEEK TEN: CANDY (2-6) vs SINACOG (0-3) CANDY WINS
AOWL Season X WEEK TEN @Candy @Sinacog Verse Due: THURSDAY JUNE 16TH @ 11:59 PM Line min: 10 Max: 40 Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311 Topic: GOOD LUCK |
06-12-2022, 04:53 PM | #2 |
Sell Her
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check check
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curious más curioso y más curioso
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06-12-2022, 05:08 PM | #3 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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06-15-2022, 05:45 PM | #4 |
Sell Her
Join Date: Feb 2018
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Night Night
.. In the shallows of each hall lies a willow Which in to wallow by waddle unwiddled in follow Each hollow oak soaks the sun stroke coated sand spots Drops of jupiter ring in catacombs of sewn to knots Scotch is funneled through tunnel vision then proped I watch every last shock of the cost in musky much whats Thats where it stops the skeleton key formed in form of through it true human persona is born From the fabrics of the gardens bedded bed hair be headed To the golden rainbows flaged as dead before set to sail threaded In gest of a jesters breath i ingest The unicorn birds cross paths with crows pheonix and back.. Never More sure of the shores before galore it lacks.. in fact this track is as apparent as the damaged anguish that painted its fabrics - act accordingly act for your orderly ordinarily in depiction a skeleton with out sound bound to it set projects the skulls its been analyzed by in yet.. but for when It needs something - of lost maybe the sounds of moss the granet thats been rocked the waves that break and changed the coast it host from beyond its rot but not atlas for the atlas it forget still notices the shing a ling of sing sing before it notched shut or did it not a reflect of man still stands tall from crawl to born as watch the mass extracted then slop by its i am one scoff a scarf of red velvet satin and arsenic shot in one shot glass of diamond for got lollie water death curious as a last stand with no legs a chair the rocks at the feet of the skeletons breast each ship with loose lips of this girl press to undress the water lilies rest for one moment of clarity as a heorin - wet
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curious más curioso y más curioso
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06-15-2022, 07:31 PM | #5 |
Sini
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THE SKELETONY KEY; THE EMBEZZLING GENE; THE HOMOSAPIEN RACE
HOMOSAPIEN SCAPE; I am the RAPTOR OF THE ENDING LIGHT DESCEND AND FLIGHT; END THE SKY; EMPYREAN SKIES HOLLOW COST; LIKE SHOOTING JEWS WITH NAZI SUBMARINE TACTICS A BLACK SMITH KILLING THE GENE/JEANS LIKE HEMMING SPIT PHLEGM; kill them; rape thevirgin mary SURGICAL bond between light and death; plight of breaths I am the nightmare before thanks giving; killing the turkey and chicken BIRTH OF A PIGEON; the curse of religions; the birth of a victim I am the sentiment of evil; killingcathedrals for i killed evil people in the cathedral.. |
06-18-2022, 11:14 AM | #6 |
WOW
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Weird af battle here.
Candy writes poetry. It’s not topicals really. It could in no way shape or form be spit to a beat of any kind. There’s not much rhythm to it at all. I wouldn’t even call it spoken word, this verse has the cadence of some Walt Whitman classical poetry. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it’s outside of the realm of what we usually do here. Sinacog posted a keystyle that was very rhythm and flow heavy but didn’t relate to the topic at all and ultimately didn’t tell any type of story or have any type of message. Like I said weird battle. Vote - Candy for at least somewhat aiming for the topic
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06-18-2022, 07:31 PM | #7 |
Steadily Lurking
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Candy's verse was truly beautiful and put together with artistic precision. Especially the opening verse was quite captivating to say the least. Even this line had me like wow!! "Scotch is funneled through tunnel vision then proped" As for Sin, this seemed to be one of his better verses in the league...with very minimal chanting, but went on to repeat himself at the end but he seemed to do it for clarity. But honestly Candy takes this easily due to the depth and the resonance he created in his verse.
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06-19-2022, 02:14 AM | #8 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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Candy - I always start your verses off with high hopes, as they seem to be going somewhere incredible but they just wind up shooting them selves in the foot usually by getting super preachy and overstuffed with material. It’s honestly hard to hone in on what’s going on when you have two - three thoughts per line. I dig your style and i respect you as a writer, but I’d like to see something with a more linear plot line, something we can follow as voters. Liked some of the imagery here and the attempt to tackle the topic.
Cog - All been said and done my friend I like your rhyme schemes but you don’t really say ANYTHING, even when the topic caters to you as an individual you find a way to go off on a tangent and fuck it up. I pitted you two against each other for the similar backstories, once esteemed writers who have changed their style drastically and can’t really find a foothold to climb their way back into the top ranks. I think Candy still has his talent lying under his lackadaisical writing, Sinacog I’m not too sure of V/ Candy was just more intrigued by his piece and thought it was overall better |
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