01-14-2024, 08:57 PM | #1 |
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Join Date: Jul 2022
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Untitled
I'm stirring up sweat, no assurance of mirrored respect
The appearance is kept, the severeness of my past Is of no clearance to death, my father's broken in two Watching me fail in everything that I've chosen to do Hoping success comes soon, that it was frozen in youth But I can't get passed the presence of stress, thrashed And tested by massive ingestion of poison infused With puffin clouds in my room trying to defuse feelings Of doom, meanwhile mothers asking questions a lot I dodge and evade em cause it's a no love equation With her I've grown up abrasive, alone, with no patience It's the genome invasion, the curse of generations So I get high to hide my limitations under a blanket There is no mitigation or a action to strengthen me My pain is a constant sensation, but I've got drugs Thankfully, the concept of family is so estranged to me One day I'll cock back and end my misery DRUNK WHILE I stare into the eyes of my dysfunction angrily |
01-17-2024, 09:31 AM | #2 |
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Loved these the most. Simple, reflective and so on point - perfect second line. Also appreciate the tone and consistency throughout. I wasn’t too fond of the last line, rhythmically at least. But it conveyed the finality if it all very well, and often that might be better than a focus on rhythm/multi laden approach alone. Hope to read more, a longer piece would be interesting.
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