When Life sucker-punches you in the back of the head

Chill Phil · 03-09-2018, 09:57 AM

Yesterday I was driving around a town that had no cell phone service. I stopped at a gas station that looked like the kind of gas station I shouldn't have stopped at. But I figured, "if I get blown away with a shot gun, I definitely won't have to pay bills anymore." I know I was being judgmental, but at the same time I was feeling pretty good about my decision to go inside the store and possibly end my debt forever.

Anyways...

The door jingled as I entered, and a woman in her 50's who clearly chain-smoked cheap cigarettes exclaimed at my presence. And by "exclaimed at my presence," I mean she raised her eyebrows while she looked at me. I know, I'm judging... There was a radio playing in the back corner of the store. Then I said "Hiya!" Making sure to sound extra non-threatening. 'Cause let's be serious...I don't NOT look threatening, even to myself (thanks to TV and film). She responded with a sharp "hi," a decibel above a whisper.I turned to look at the snacks, but after a few seconds, I'm feeling the tension rise --warmth on the back of my neck--, so I just quickly grabbed a bag of chips, and then walked around to the refrigerated beverages toward the back of the store.

"Who eats chips without anything to wash it down?" That's the thought I had while trying to distract myself from the more serious thought of "I'm sure she thinks I'm up to no good." I know, I'm judging.

But here we go...

The lady walks around the counter and follows me to the back corner of the store where the radio was, and turns down the volume. She was completely in my personal space at this point. "Too damn loud," she says. I'm uncomfortable having this person directly behind me, so I grab the drink I had no intentions of drinking and make my way to the check out counter. I walked with extra pep in my step 'cause I want to get back in the car, and get the fuck out of this uncomfortable ass situation. A SITUATION. She's keeping pace behind me I'm thinking "oh she probably thinks I'm gonna run out of the store."

Again...I know, I'm judging.

I get to the check out counter and that's when I notice they had all sorts of dead animal jerky. I grab one of each and I'm all, "HELLLLLL YEEEEAAAAH! DEAD ANIMAL FLESH IN A PLASTIC POUUUUUCH." The tension dissipated, her shoulders relaxed, my shoulders relaxed, and we both started genuinely smiling. We even made small talk and she wished me a safe journey home. Moral of the story, maybe racial tension is an imaginary thing, and we're so wrapped up in the illusion that we don't take the time to see that people are just people...BUT buying beef/bison/venison jerky can ease racial tension whether it exists or not. You should try it!

Chill Phil · 03-09-2018, 10:13 AM

AND...

My entire life for as long as I've been self aware and able to remember, I FUCKING THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS BLACK.

wtf?!

Inno · 03-09-2018, 10:13 AM

WHATA TWIST!

Ghost1 · 03-09-2018, 10:36 AM

u want me to neg u in this thread or surprise you randomly later on>?

King Karaoke · 03-09-2018, 11:33 AM

Hi...

Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga...

Bye...

Aero · 03-09-2018, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Karaoke

Hi...

Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga...

Bye...

This nigga is the worst. Nigga was clearly judged by his skin tone even though he looks like a doofus. He panicked like a bitch & bought more items out of sheer anxiety. Moral of story was put whitey at ease with your love of beef jerky. Sure thing boss! Anything else ya need suh? Beef jerky? Don't mind if I do! Ass nigga.

Geno · 03-09-2018, 12:40 PM

Smh

Inno · 03-09-2018, 01:37 PM

It’s hilarious to me that kar and Asian bob hate Phil cuz he doesn’t act like the typical negro they think he should act like. Lmao.
@Aero he should of went in there cracker this cracker that nalm talking bout yo. Fuck you cracker as crackers gimme my forty

Would that of been black enough for you?

Amen · 03-09-2018, 01:40 PM

And them are the "Black people" I dislike because they are the racist ones.

Phil isn't the problem, YOU ARE.

The fuck you mean he isn't acting like the "Typical" black person - wtf is the "Typical" black person?

Welfare, jobless, piece of shit, dirt person, loud obnoxious? WHAT?

Ugh, don't get me started.

Aero · 03-09-2018, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Innovator

It’s hilarious to me that kar and Asian bob hate Phil cuz he doesn’t act like the typical negro they think he should act like. Lmao.
@Aero he should of went in there cracker this cracker that nalm talking bout yo. Fuck you cracker as crackers gimme my forty

Would that of been black enough for you?

No you mark ass bitch. What he should've done was gotten the items he went in for & left without being a nervous wreck or trying to appease whites. If she was pressing him he could ask can I help you? Take ya tubby ass away from me Inno you're not intelligent or talented enough to address someone of my caliber.

Chill Phil · 03-09-2018, 01:55 PM

lol

Aero · 03-09-2018, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chill Phil

lol

lol you trying me. I get it. I fell into the trap this was good. Liked the humor in the story this was obviously satire and I fell for it. Karaoke set me off, I would've just laughed at this.

Props.

Ghost1 · 03-09-2018, 02:00 PM

lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo

Cred · 03-09-2018, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost1

lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo

I came in here to say this same shit. I was like this nigga aero might actually be black lmaooo but he obv jus a muhfucka hip to social media etc

Aero · 03-09-2018, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost1

lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo

Lol the Menace to Society reference was on purpose as it mirrored Phil's situation. Good catch though. Your knowledge of popular black culture is astounding for someone who pretends to dislike blacks.

Aero · 03-09-2018, 02:05 PM

@Blue Bayou I see you and I miss you. Been thinking of you from time to time.

Ghost1 · 03-09-2018, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aero

Lol the Menace to Society reference was on purpose as it mirrored Phil's situation. Good catch though. Your knowledge of popular black culture is astounding for someone who pretends to dislike blacks.

subtly sides me against the blacks........lol yo aero YOU SMART....lol but im smarter. (negged)

Ghost1 · 03-09-2018, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cred

I came in here to say this same shit. I was like this nigga aero might actually be black lmaooo but he obv jus a muhfucka hip to social media etc

lmao legitttt

Inno · 03-09-2018, 04:24 PM

Despite all of this Phil is still blacker than you @Aero

It bothers you I know.

Elemental P · 03-09-2018, 04:58 PM

Fuck yea beef jerky. Tbh this sounded like some Texas Chainsaw scenario shit, I thought Phil over here telling us the last moments of his life before his phone dies and gets turned in to chili meat....she probably laughed cuz that wasn't animal meat in them packages lmao

03-09-2018, 09:57 AM	#1
Chill Phil World's Heaviest Ghost Join Date: May 2015 Location: At home Posts: 2,582 Rep Power: 48431847	When Life sucker-punches you in the back of the head Yesterday I was driving around a town that had no cell phone service. I stopped at a gas station that looked like the kind of gas station I shouldn't have stopped at. But I figured, "if I get blown away with a shot gun, I definitely won't have to pay bills anymore." I know I was being judgmental, but at the same time I was feeling pretty good about my decision to go inside the store and possibly end my debt forever. Anyways... The door jingled as I entered, and a woman in her 50's who clearly chain-smoked cheap cigarettes exclaimed at my presence. And by "exclaimed at my presence," I mean she raised her eyebrows while she looked at me. I know, I'm judging... There was a radio playing in the back corner of the store. Then I said "Hiya!" Making sure to sound extra non-threatening. 'Cause let's be serious...I don't NOT look threatening, even to myself (thanks to TV and film). She responded with a sharp "hi," a decibel above a whisper.I turned to look at the snacks, but after a few seconds, I'm feeling the tension rise --warmth on the back of my neck--, so I just quickly grabbed a bag of chips, and then walked around to the refrigerated beverages toward the back of the store. "Who eats chips without anything to wash it down?" That's the thought I had while trying to distract myself from the more serious thought of "I'm sure she thinks I'm up to no good." I know, I'm judging. But here we go... The lady walks around the counter and follows me to the back corner of the store where the radio was, and turns down the volume. She was completely in my personal space at this point. "Too damn loud," she says. I'm uncomfortable having this person directly behind me, so I grab the drink I had no intentions of drinking and make my way to the check out counter. I walked with extra pep in my step 'cause I want to get back in the car, and get the fuck out of this uncomfortable ass situation. A SITUATION. She's keeping pace behind me I'm thinking "oh she probably thinks I'm gonna run out of the store." Again...I know, I'm judging. I get to the check out counter and that's when I notice they had all sorts of dead animal jerky. I grab one of each and I'm all, "HELLLLLL YEEEEAAAAH! DEAD ANIMAL FLESH IN A PLASTIC POUUUUUCH." The tension dissipated, her shoulders relaxed, my shoulders relaxed, and we both started genuinely smiling. We even made small talk and she wished me a safe journey home. Moral of the story, maybe racial tension is an imaginary thing, and we're so wrapped up in the illusion that we don't take the time to see that people are just people...BUT buying beef/bison/venison jerky can ease racial tension whether it exists or not. You should try it! __________________ Drunk in the club, let a nigga say somethin'... I'll have him fall victim like the nigga base jumpin',

03-09-2018, 11:33 AM	#5
King Karaoke Stackin' wins... Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,515 Battle Record: 61-20 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - Survivor Tournament - Netcees Battle League (6x) - Netcees Gimmick Tournament Rep Power: 10353694	Hi... Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga... Bye... __________________ the Outsiders Orc \| ill nik-A \| Sn00p \| King Karaoke

03-09-2018, 12:40 PM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,328 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Smh __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

03-09-2018, 01:55 PM	#11
Chill Phil World's Heaviest Ghost Join Date: May 2015 Location: At home Posts: 2,582 Rep Power: 48431847	lol __________________ Drunk in the club, let a nigga say somethin'... I'll have him fall victim like the nigga base jumpin',

03-09-2018, 02:05 PM	#16
Aero GOAT Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 4,825 Battle Record: 14-17 Champed - Site Diss Competition - Tag Tournament III - Lyric Olympics - Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant" Rep Power: 0	@Blue Bayou I see you and I miss you. Been thinking of you from time to time. __________________ Too Rich IRL to Be Here. I'm Out.

03-09-2018, 10:13 AM	#3
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,005 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899400	WHATA TWIST!

03-09-2018, 10:36 AM	#4
Ghost1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 26,349 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 84181442	u want me to neg u in this thread or surprise you randomly later on>?

03-09-2018, 01:37 PM	#8
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,005 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899400	It’s hilarious to me that kar and Asian bob hate Phil cuz he doesn’t act like the typical negro they think he should act like. Lmao. @Aero he should of went in there cracker this cracker that nalm talking bout yo. Fuck you cracker as crackers gimme my forty Would that of been black enough for you?

03-09-2018, 01:40 PM	#9
Amen As-salamu alaykum! Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 8,470 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - 1-2 Punch League Season 6 Rep Power: 0	And them are the "Black people" I dislike because they are the racist ones. Phil isn't the problem, YOU ARE. The fuck you mean he isn't acting like the "Typical" black person - wtf is the "Typical" black person? Welfare, jobless, piece of shit, dirt person, loud obnoxious? WHAT? Ugh, don't get me started.

03-09-2018, 02:00 PM	#13
Ghost1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 26,349 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 84181442	lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo

03-09-2018, 04:24 PM	#19
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,005 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899400	Despite all of this Phil is still blacker than you @Aero It bothers you I know.

03-09-2018, 04:58 PM	#20
Elemental P Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2018 Posts: 856 Rep Power: 4507453	Fuck yea beef jerky. Tbh this sounded like some Texas Chainsaw scenario shit, I thought Phil over here telling us the last moments of his life before his phone dies and gets turned in to chili meat....she probably laughed cuz that wasn't animal meat in them packages lmao