AOWL WK13: Witty (2-6) VS. Frank (6-4)-- Witty wins, Frank NS.

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum. (if agreed upon by both participants, you may go beyond the limit at your own risk.)

Verses are due SUNDAY 5/26 at 11:59 PST.
Extensions are due MONDAY 5/27 at 11:59 PST.
(There is a 6 hour grace period following the end of the extension deadline. If you fail to post anything by the end of the grace period time, you will be given the no show loss.)

You must vote on at least 4 other battles and post links in the Voting Thread. For every absent vote, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

Voting ends THURSDAY 5/30 at 11:59 PST.(Unless otherwise it may be extended another day at the most.)

You MUSTcheck in.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

NOTE:
Swaying, excessive freeposting, voter fraud etc. are grounds for vote deductions at discretion of the moderators.
Editing your verse after the grace period, after your opponent posts, or after the first vote (especially this)- as well as biting- are grounds for disqualification at discretion of the moderators.


TOPIC: "Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field of artificial falcon insemination, and could these developments be used to improve the American electoral process?'" —Dave Barry.




Good luck to both participants. @Witty @Frank

[Frank]

The answer is yesno. A rare word given to scenarios in which, either reply /answer will suffice. When said quickly, the listener only hears what they want to hear.

Wanna hear a story....

[Witty]

Sup

[Witty]

Fuck, forgot this was due yesterday and looks like you did too, I can drop tonight if it's all good?

[Witty]

The Irony Of We

In a sterile white lab, scientist's provoke life with their hands
Capable of giving you mice on demand, is it a blight on the land
Or is it enlightenment planned to lengthen society's stand?
We can take nature and duplicate, is it stupid, fake, or a looming fate?
Who dictates our rise and fall? Will Messiah call when this balloon deflates?
Humans are graceful, gifted, yet pain constricted
Rage inflicted on feeble brains so we remain conflicted
We could never watch the earth suffer if we loved her
We create beauty with one hand and crush it with the other
If we can give a falcon life, help a beast deliver a child
Why do we insist on slitting nature's wrist, with a smile?

We're the singularity, we don't make any sense
We create self inflicted pain and then pray that it ends
Strained 'til we're tense, trained for defence
Brains in a trance, meds for rainy days, take 'em and dance
Then wake naked and stamped with fakeness and rant
About how brainless the world is, tasteless and scant
Unaware our leaders are taking advantage, blatantly savage
Pick a place on an atlas, invade it and ravage
it naked, raping the face of the land, leave it vacant and damaged
Bitterness and hate have established a place in society
In attempt to displace the grace that's inside of me
Exasperated from evil, we've masqueraded as people
With passion, but our lasting trait is deceitful

We give animals life, then we take it from each other
Hates fire's alight and we lay naked as we smother
We're traitors, we claim that nature is our mother
So how come we continue to rape her, if we love her?

[Nigma]

Originally Posted by Witty

In a sterile white lab, scientist's provoke life with their hands
Capable of giving you mice on demand, is it a blight on the land
Or is it enlightenment planned to lengthen society's stand?
We can take nature and duplicate, is it stupid, fake, or a looming fate?
Who dictates our rise and fall? Will Messiah call when this balloon deflates?

First three lines were really dope, solid thought provoking intro that points the verse in a promising direction. I enjoyed third line in particular.

Humans are graceful, gifted, yet pain constricted

Nice rhyme scheme transition

Rage inflicted on feeble brains so we remain conflicted

I feel you coulda added 2 lines or so and taken this rhyme scheme a bit further

We could never watch the earth suffer if we loved her
We create beauty with one hand and crush it with the other
If we can give a falcon life, help a beast deliver a child
Why do we insist on slitting nature's wrist, with a smile?

Keepin it consistent, enjoyed the message here. I feel the last line would read better without the comma, something like "nature's wrists with a smile".

We're the singularity, we don't make any sense
We create self inflicted pain and then pray that it ends
Strained 'til we're tense, trained for defence
Brains in a trance, meds for rainy days, take 'em and dance

Really liked this section, one of my favourite so far.

Then wake naked and stamped with fakeness and rant
About how brainless the world is, tasteless and scant
Unaware our leaders are taking advantage, blatantly savage
Pick a place on an atlas, invade it and ravage
it naked, raping the face of the land, leave it vacant and damaged
Bitterness and hate have established a place in society
In attempt to displace the grace that's inside of me
Exasperated from evil, we've masqueraded as people
With passion, but our lasting trait is deceitful

You're hitting a groove here my man, this is gettin hot!

We give animals life, then we take it from each other
Hates fire's alight and we lay naked as we smother
We're traitors, we claim that nature is our mother
So how come we continue to rape her, if we love her?

The last two lines do a good job of summarizing the verse as a whole, the two before it were sort of along the same lines but for a closer you may want to give a more general summary. <--- Me knitpicking, but overall I really enjoyed the message of this and your take on the topic. Good shit Witty, too bad you got no showed.

[trap.]

Witty wins, Frank NS.