GWL PLAYOFFS ROUND 1- #2 JOHNNY 6 FEET (5-1) VS #11 MASTER ROCK (1-1) JOHNNY WINS/OPEN FOR FEED

[Johnny 6 feet]

GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@Master Rock

Max line: 30

Min: 10

Check in: 48 hours after thread post

DUE DATE: JULY 22ND @ 11:59PM EST

TOPIC:

'Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop- H. L. Mencken'


GOOD LUCK!

[Johnny 6 feet]

Check

[Master Rock]

Word.

[Master Rock]

This quote is one to ponder.

[Johnny 6 feet]

I Do

The orders came;

'Men! We're going once more into the breach!
Hold your nuts if you can find them! We're storming the beach!'

So its come, W day, a battle years in the making
Every campaign a lesson of fears and PTSD shaking
I suit up, haunted eyes tell of horrors in my reflection
Of a thousand battles fought, and scars too deep for introspection
This is the final push, the end game, the death of revelry
With a final sigh I start the trek to meet my enemy

Her weapons are many, it's hard to pick the best of the bunch
Sleeping gas; her friends talking about pesto at lunch
Landmines lie in the dirt disguised as throwaway comments
Assassin blade tongue masked by smiles as bright as a comet
She first caught me in a pitfall; the depth of her eyes
Cyanide whispers carried on the breath on her lies
Her laser sight scopes me for looking at any other dame
And the intel's supplied from the supercomputer of her brain
Steel wires set off guilt trips, bullets are tears that flow
Her stockpile? Things I did she tallied up from years ago!

My soldiers of reason sit quiet, strapped in tuxedo bomb proof vests
As we drive to the combat zone, every one's a proven vet
They slap my shoulders with condolences

'We're praying for you man!'

'Remember us when you fight..."

Now it's time to make a stand
The target's a stone fortress, it's spire an accusing finger
I take a pull from my flask, send a prayer this booze'll linger
The doors open with a boom, time to end this sick war
As the music starts up like the chimes of discord
I walk the long carpet; there's no retreat where I'm headed
And the commander finally says the words I've secretly dreaded

'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...'

[Master Rock]

She captured me with a glance
polar contradictions intertwined with a prance
Mirrors of our souls
reflect the wave of depth to where it flows
the breeze content, and it shows, when push comes to shove
the vise will cry from the dove, clasped by the embrace of what I'm made of
the substance of my soul drains to the very last drop
pouring my all, till where the faucet stops
drip..drip.. love and anger take a sip
I love you, I hate you, lost in translation till we slip

[Universe]

Johnny 6 Feet - You're a very literal person aren't you? lol. You basically did exactly what the quote was hinting at... which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing... Just an observation. That aside, this was done very well. I liked the juxtaposition of war and getting ready to walk down the aisle... it's a massive cliche, but I enjoyed your take on it - ESPECIALLY the part where you described the female and how she psychologically breaks the man down... that was dope. Great flow throughout as well.

Highlights:

"Landmines lie in the dirt disguised as throwaway comments
Assassin blade tongue masked by smiles as bright as a comet
She first caught me in a pitfall; the depth of her eyes
Cyanide whispers carried on the breath on her lies"

- So good.


Master Rock - You know, if this was a fully fleshed out piece, it would've been pretty solid. But as it stands it's kind of an insult to put this short little verse up against Johnny imo. I liked it, but it wasn't enough content to be considered a viable threat. I liked this section though...

Highlights:

"Mirrors of our souls
reflect the wave of depth to where it flows
the breeze content, and it shows, when push comes to shove
the vise will cry from the dove, clasped by the embrace of what I'm made of"

- More of this and it would've been closer.

So overall a good little battle here, but it was pretty one sided in both scope, effort... and just plain polish.

Vote - J6F

[Candy]

johnny:
dope man the fulfilling substance of weight you seemed to shift and sell didnt faulter when displaying your message.. the story itself had alot of description and the rhyme scheme wasnt super tight but was present so you could really feel it.. the rhythm of it was consistent and and all in all the delivery was cool.. the story itself was very pretty with alot of emotion towards the female character.. great depiction thanks

master:
man this was short but sweet i saw the length compare and was like really does appear to be what it will be judged on and i didnt want to go into your verse bias but in the end i think thats all that conflicted with a clean kill.. because the lines you used were dope and very easily could of challanged johhny though is was pretty fire.. i think your whole soul stance was delivered with perfection and your story of pain def had the right amount of emotion in it.. cool little flow a little looser then johnny but pretty close to it if more bar would have been real close.. thanks..

vote johnny

[Razah]

Master Rock, should've made it a little longer. I'm actually against long ass verses (16+ bars), I think that's sucker shit. I felt like this was too short too really draw out any emotion or expand on the topic. It had a good vibe going but, then it just stops.

John, this was a pretty good verse. Wording was pretty good, flow was pretty smooth, I liked it. It's weird because I read the topic, started reading your verse, kind of figured you were going in that direction, but then I was like Nahh it's something else, but then it went in that direction. Lol.

Landmines lie in the dirt disguised as throwaway comments
Assassin blade tongue masked by smiles as bright as a comet
She first caught me in a pitfall; the depth of her eyes
Cyanide whispers carried on the breath on her lies

Maybe it becomes a personal thing eventually but, that shit hit. I'm sure most people can relate to that. Anyways, overall, the verse was enjoyable. You tied into the topic well, the 'predictable' spin was done really well, and I just liked reading it.

bJohnny

[Adverse]

Johnny had a hyper literal take on the topic and honestly it was predictable and lacked the sort of mystique laced narrative that his previous two pieces had, I still enjoyed it though and it had some great imagery especially the landmines segment had some dope visuals. Not your best and a tad predictable but all in all it was a good effort.

Master Rock you had some nice visuals as well and I know you had to rush your verse this week but the short length of your narrative kind of killed your chances before you ever could start. Still enjoyed the imagery though

This was one was a runaway for Six

V/Johnny

[BOOM]

It looks like this one is over already I guess

Felt Master Rock was just starting to build up a head of steam and seemed to be going somewhere, but then it ends. Flow was nice to me, shorter line for the setup followed by some longer more content driven bars with good vocabulary. Nice. The visuals were good, thought you had a good thing going actually but then we’re forced to cut it short unfortunately. It’s a shame as what you had showed real promise.

Johnny: You did your thing, I can’t lie, clear winner this time out with a nice almost dual-metaphor you wielded which was a difficult line to traverse between the two. It was a good approach, creative in its own right, and one I don’t think I’ve seen done before so I have to give you props on that alone as I’m all about originality and creativity in these things. You had a good degree of technical merit going on also that ultimately helped shape my decision on this one.

Vote - Johnny

[Scar]

j6f, "w day" lulz that was slick. word up this was a cool misdirection - well at least in the opening sequence anyway. really love your creativity man. and the concept you went with was so dope in relation to the topic. the weapon/relationship issue juxtaposition was so fuckin awesome. I really enjoyed this and the honest truth is i don't there was any weak spot.

master rock, for its length, this was pretty good my man. I don't think i've ever read any of your stuff before but its cool how thorough you dissected the topic. lots of grounds covered, which was impressive to me. definitely got the picture of drips and drains which i take it was the metaphor you were going for. pretty cool man.