04-01-2013, 09:55 PM | #1 |
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DEAD MAN -- PAINT YOU RENAISSANCE
enter the
ever addicted. albuterol and methyl prescription breathless as liquid, lung cysts, cigarettes at the clinic typing text for a minute, dead heat like anti-semetic deliverance most flow congestive heartache at the special olympics it's expected, a gimmick. to write on essence of spirit or rhythmic dissertations. theoretical physics once you've tested the limit - horizons loop, it's instrumental to listen for snare traps on random samples like a measured statistic catch it for miss it. it was written, while mr. jones counted crows in the sky blue ribbons, silver bullets, wolves, emotional ties sober or high, two-track parallel for social or shy i've hoped for a lie, discovered hatefulness and chosen a side quoth the decline, stocks and snowflakes, both are designed PM Motrin to wine about their voting online. Merlot when we dine knowably grind your favorite bitch, codeine slow motion her spine moisture soaking her thighs the kind only cocoa butter lotion provides wrap a noose around your neck, drop the rope as you die spit blood upon your grave before i choke you alive interpret each occurrence as a token or sign, regrets are scar tissue. fleshy phantoms, ghosts of your pride i'm supposed to reside in Transylvania, or Rome in the time of renaissance children painting poems that rhymed hopelessly blind, third eye remains too focused to mind open wide, fuck your choice. what does Sophie decide? DONT LOOK SEE
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04-02-2013, 09:39 AM | #2 |
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Enjoy your psychological themed rhymes and vocabulary. Measured statistic - theoretical physics - essence of spirit is up there in terms of interesting rhyme schemes only surpassed in my recent memory by the theoretical science - sexual nihilist - secular violence rhyme scheme you have written before. Highly enjoyed the reference to phantom limbs. Comparing substance use to social or shy was also a great truth. Didn't understand the reference to Sophie in the last line but that is just because I am not well read or up to date on the pop culture.
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04-02-2013, 12:58 PM | #3 |
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thanks zygote
as for the last line, 'sophie's choice' is a william styron novel from the early 80's or late 70's. they made a film too. not necessarily 'pop culture'. but yeah you should check it out.
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04-03-2013, 09:02 AM | #4 |
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guess ill post some links tonight
/RAWNYMACK
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04-03-2013, 01:07 PM | #5 |
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not too shabby.,
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04-03-2013, 03:49 PM | #6 |
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I love your multis you used throughout this piece specifically the ones you opened up the verse with. They were dope as hell forreal. Great set up here because this flowed perfectly. The words just rolled right off of my tongue as I was reading it. Great writing here dead. Get back in the league!!
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04-03-2013, 06:25 PM | #7 |
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insanity as usual. good to read some substance again.
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04-04-2013, 12:13 PM | #8 |
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WERD
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04-05-2013, 07:43 AM | #9 |
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loved the references in this.. very philosophical. Sophie's Choice is a great book, sickening story.
also (the way I see it) it was a very clever attack on certain people, maybe even on textceeing in general seeing as that's mainly the way it is these days. the last bar I completely agree with, people get so wound up about shit that doesn't even matter and are ignorant of real shit that has gone down / is going down in other people's lives.. or even in their own life.. at least that's how I took it.
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04-06-2013, 11:20 AM | #10 |
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decent
alil different not sure in a good or bad way.
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04-06-2013, 12:16 PM | #11 |
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a right insightful cunt ya are..
word venom, i appreciate your take on it
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