03-16-2016, 11:33 PM | #1 |
living
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DEADMAN - clockwork omen
re
arranging words to bind a group of strangers together the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act like polyester carpeting and digital tracks cataloguing my escape is more than petty distraction from something. or nothing. or i've lost my direction awkward as ever. shallow conversation topics for breakfast cause and affection. planting powder keg grenade mega wattage grenadine and cherry stems you twist into knots tongue lashing was your last resort. reserve a response Greystone balcony, hotel in the Bronx. we met off of Broadway and never looked back. Jacksonville, Chicago and Boston Camel cough up park-bench paradise. Pulaski and Foster we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages to be honest i can think of nothing better at night than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write clockwork omen. sliced like nectarines these moments in life where it flows freely, hold deeply soulful delight exhale your blood and marrow. rats and roaches and mice dress rehearsal empathy and coping devices postcard prozac. enhance the pixel perfect preciseness neologist enlightenment as i'm twisting the knife bedroom clutter paperbacks and ashtrays and wine a concrete view and metal spoons i've bent to the side mind's eye morose my psyche. every bet double-blind cancer, signed my valentine. farewell gemini mademoiselle Madeline, maiden fair, fahrenheit can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky pop another vein and wave our passion goodbye i used to feel like everything i said was important like it mattered somehow. but now i know it's a lie a morgue for all my discourse and a bed for my corpses it's all a matter of minutes until we die. DEADMAN
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Zack Wicks for president |
03-17-2016, 07:39 AM | #2 |
Shrewd as evearthed
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we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs to be honest i can think of nothing better at night than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write a lot of visual imagery and turn of phrase dopeness throughout but those couplets stood out most to me ill shit buddy keep that pen moving!
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03-17-2016, 10:11 AM | #3 |
SYRACUSE
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ahhh my favorite dark romantic. Thanks for the ode to the burrough I repped for a decade. Hard for me to imagine a hotel there so I took it as maybe Riverdale tho or maybe in the past sometime. Also was feeling the lines Lars quoted. True love, nihilistic. Walking that line between the dark and light, meaning and no meaning. Ode to this with your skilled use of the word grey in your pieces. Like. want more.
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UNIFIED THEORY |
03-17-2016, 04:07 PM | #4 |
Arm the Homeless
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arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act That's excellent, especially the last line. |
03-17-2016, 07:11 PM | #5 |
Banned
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can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights
hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky there's REAL present tense will possibly cry soon Last edited by emcee squared; 10-31-2016 at 04:48 PM. |
03-18-2016, 11:04 PM | #6 |
living
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Thx guys!
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Zack Wicks for president |
03-19-2016, 12:20 AM | #7 |
Lime Life
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Man...you're the best.
Of all time. Exquisite.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
03-30-2016, 02:50 AM | #8 |
Senior Member
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Its hard to troll your posts with a live verse like i just do with the other users...you are a complex story teller the lines are very well put together... i would like your feedback under my verses...have a great write
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03-30-2016, 08:57 AM | #9 | |
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Quote:
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03-30-2016, 10:44 AM | #10 |
heard it all before
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arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better that was great. it was also true for most of us here, i feel we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs loved this. poignant as hell the whole thing was butter smooth, as usual. you have a unique way with words which is refreshing considering the clone-like writing that takes place on message boards such as this. the way you twist phrases makes me want to write; i can say that about very few writers. your ability to remain you throughout the years you've spent online is to be applauded. please check out my OM when you can.
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''if you're committed enough, you can make any story work. i once told a woman i was Kevin Costner, and it worked because i believed it.'' |
03-30-2016, 02:23 PM | #11 |
living
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Zack Wicks for president |
03-30-2016, 04:38 PM | #12 |
rhyme capsule.
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we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages to be honest i can think of nothing better at night than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write bruh. you're an animal. |
03-30-2016, 09:42 PM | #13 |
nok Su kow
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This was wicked my friend. Nice to read your stuff. I love how you always transport the reader effortlessly within descriptions and undertones. Love how the flow feels, real bubbley in a good way. Very intricate in parts as well. You relieved some stress. Thank you.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
03-31-2016, 01:34 PM | #14 |
Banned
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Meh. Not too bad.
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